Internet friends, college friends and best friend

All day long I was miserable and quite literally drove Lazywiz crazy with my dejection because I could not write. I had to write. I was desperate to write, but I could not find inspiration.

Then at midnight as I was watching Season 5 Episode 18 of Gray's anatomy titled Stand By Me I suddenly found a reason to post this. A man with a beastlike shell of a face awaits to have his face reconstructed by plastic surgery. He needs to get proper post op care and has no family. So guess who show up to help him out?

His internet friends. They have chatted all through these years about their mutual passion around orchids. And these friends have flown out from different place to Seattle to be with him.

I haven't met my internet friends, but they are part of me now. An Indian TV serial an online forum would lead me to writing and becoming friends with a group of people I have not seen face to face, but who are part of me everyday. And Indi di .. an important reason I write and continue to write. My friends... 

Of course there are those 5 college friends and 2 school friends. On whats app and gmail who are still the ones that make me want to talk and never fail to bring a smile and exhale a sigh.

This episode also has McDreamy all teary eyed and sad. He is broken and doubting himself, but I hope it is a happy ending. I really like him. And I love him and Meredith together. 

Just they way he looks at her. Actually, his wistful look as he stares at anyone, the fact that he is slighter older mature but still a romantic and the fact that he is intelligent and capable makes him irresistible.

And finally since am writing I am no longer tense and upset. All in all a good day. 

Today is friendships day. Just another day when I got a hundred and more reasons to know am lucky to be living with my best friend. Happy friendship's day my lazywiz! 

I was intelligent that very first day in college when I decide I would follow you whichever corridor you lead me to.

Shakespeare and Milton : Where do I start?

I am not a literature student. I have been wanting to read the original plays and poems of the Stalwarts of English literature. Where to start? The question has haunted me to such an extent that I almost gave up hope.

And then I found this debate on Intelligence Squared. Is Shakespeare better or Milton? You might think for the uninitiated it does not matter. The debate would only be enjoyable to one who has sufficiently studied or is atleast familiar with works of both.

On the contrary I found this a perfect place to start. To have seasoned thespians perform hand picked verses. And also have two acclaimed English professors explain the context of those lines, what details to spot and where to let the mind run free, gives an inspiring boost to anyone wanting to try reading the original works of these timeless writers.

  

Video credit iqsquared.
They have the most eye opening and engaging debates on varied topics. You are missing out if you haven't heard them.

Why Arya Stark is a hero ?

In Episode three of Season five of the HBO series Game Of Thrones Arya Stark struggles to become 'noone'. She is desperate to join the rank of faceless men. Not knowing what it entails or what it leads to except that it will make her a lethal assassin.

So, while she continues to plot to turn into a killer why do I see her as a hero?

Because she could not let go of needle. Her sword. The last of her possessions. Gifted by her half brother Jon Snow (a hero as well and maybe I will write about him and what he inspires in me too).

I saw her drown her bundle of clothes. Arry's armor and Arya's identity all sinking into the vast unending Bravosi sea. She however could not part with her sword.

Heroes can't become nobody. Just like Harry Potter never could learn Occlumency. He was never able to curb the emotions or close his mind. Who he was, what he felt, overpowered his being.

For Arya that consuming need to avenge the destruction of the Starks fuels her. Drives her to become a game changer. She has not done much in the narrative yet, in terms of tactile actions. The potential of the jaded disillusioned strong girl is what we hold on.

As she cradled needle, in a few seconds I realized one of the hardest sacrifice for a person is to ask of them to let go of a part of themselves. Drown your identity and who are you? Noone.

Am glad Arya broke the rules yet again and remained Arya Stark. Someone. A hero I am rooting for.
  

Rain of Castamere

Listening in repeat the most rich and haunting melody.



Credit to uploader


Read more about the books that inspired this series on the website I started - http://writersbrew.com/2015/04/a-song-of-fire-and-ice/

Wuthering Heights

More than 150 years after its original publication I saw the book in my mother’s hand. I longed to grow up enough to read it. Finally one summer holiday, in a secluded shady spot in my grandparent’s garden I sat on a stone bench and read a novel that would remain with me throughout my life.

I reread it recently, having gotten tempted while I was researching about the archetype Byronic hero. The pull remains still as strong, the feelings that arise within still as chaotic. When you read a classic the world around becomes pale in comparison. In this book the prose flows like poetry. The imagery, vivid and personal, transports you to a timeless infinite space. The landscape itself becomes as strong a presence as any of the characters. I have not even studied literature formally and am no way adept to critique, but I am a reader who is moved by this tale and a writer desirous of sharing this experience with all.

“My love for Heathcliff resembles the eternal rocks beneath: a source of little visible delight, but necessary. Nelly, I am Heathcliff! He’s always, always in my mind: not as a pleasure, any more than I am always a pleasure to myself, but as my own being.”

Read more in writersbrew.com, the website I have started with my friend, Indi di, the one I have mentioned here numeruous times before. 

Hobbit: There and Back Again

J. R. R. Tolkein had named the book There and Back Again. Peter Jackson chose the name Battle of Five Armies because it made more sense in context of the finale of a three part movies series.

I recollect enjoying the book The Hobbit more than the small print thick tomes of Lord Of the Rings. Nevertheless, I am a diehard fan of the LOTR movies. The movies intelligently almost managed to solve the problem of confusing similar soundings unending stream of names of persons and places, that in my mind the books suffer from.

The problem I had with Hobbit the movie, right from the very first installment was the feeling that it did not have the gravity of Lord Of the Rings. After all the story it is trying to tell is a children's tale as per the author. It has the same rich sprawling landscape and intrepid journey,  but the stakes weren't that high. The choices not as difficult.

***Warning: Hobbit spoilers ahead**  

Benedict Cumberbatch is an actor I have grown quite fond of in recent years. His portrayal of the cunning Smaug, the gold glutton dragon has been quite the talk. This movie he was dead and battle shifted focus.

Tauriel, the elf who was not in Rivendell or for that matter in the Tolkein universe was also introduced. Many felt all this was to stretch the three something book to likes of the three part movie. 

I have to admit she did grow on me. In case youa re wondering why the elf looks familiar it's because she is Evangeline Lily, the actress in Lost. Remember the one where the survivors were stranded on a spooky island? Exactly that Lost.

Legolas's unrequited steadfast love and the two elven team did bring smiles on my face. The final farewell of Legolas as he departed in search of Strider was another favourite. Has to be since his love interest has been eponymous to my name.

The action shots were brilliantly shot. The dragon breathtaking, the ice and devastation even more so. The coolest battle was of wizards and Galadriel in a happy world where Saruman was still saving Gandalf, who is still a grey. 

That brings me to the most satisfying moment. Had it been the pages that I was turning, this would be where a few drops of tears would have splashed. 

Shire.. the leaves the color of the rising and setting sun, the verdant green, the gentle breeze, the wild flowers that peppered the welcoming slopes.

The imagery along with soothing Shire melody overwhelms you. And the simple joys of being a hobbit have never been as tempting as in that very moment as when Bilbo enters his home again. 

As Gandalf puts it, in his wise way..

"you are only quite a little fellow in a wide world after all!"

And sometimes that leads to the greatest journey of all.

Ride back home

The good thing about having written close to 100 blog posts is that now I get the privilege of being able to reference back. So, here is my post about what places in between do to us -
http://aarwensspells.blogspot.com/2014/06/of-places-in-between.html

It was 7 in the evening. Dusk was well on its way. It was spring with its promise of the slightest of showers. Tired, irate I stepped out of my office building. There was more office work to do, there was no way I would write. 

I am here. Writing. And you ask me why?

A cab driver, a man who looked a mixture of a benevolent Albert Einstein and my dadaji, pulled up right on time. I got into the car. There were flowers in the cup holder. Lavender and bright sunny yellow. A little droopy, must have been there the whole day. A tiny smile perked up within me. 

He started the car engine, and spoke with a friendly air, about which route we would take to go home. I thought, it was going to be a talkative ride home. The next thing he asked me was, "how was your day?". 

Now people ask you that all the time. Like most others I reply like a well oiled machine, "good", or, "fine", depending on which part of the world I am in. Hardly anyone really want s to know how you are. Or so many answers would not start with either of these 2 words. 

I wanted to rebel. Today I said, "tired". And the messiah in disguise said, "There are chocolates in the seat next to you". "Have some", he offeres. And this time I did smile. Widely.

Much later someone sensible will remind me I should not take chocolates from strangers. Sad, isn't it? Being anyone in this world in this era where we should not trust anyone..

At that moment however, for the first time in what felt like a very long day, I relaxed.With the eagerness of a kid, I unwrapped the silver wrapper. I popped that chocolate in my mouth and felt it melt, the sweetness trickling down my throat, washing away a bad day. 

Then I wondered, who did I make this happy today? No one. In fact, I did not even make my self happy today. Most definitely, that's the problem.

Frank and Claire Underwood

Nothing is forever - Except us

~ Frank Underwood to Claire Underwood

Have you heard about the Mandala paintings that the buddhist monks spend weeks making? A fine precise art of creating a mandala with colored sand. And then after it is complete, all that hard work, it is blown away. The sand mixed with the seas, so that the water carries the prayers with it.

Magnificent, isn't it? Well, I think so. Most definitely. A metaphor for how nothing stays forever. The action has a sense of meditation, and letting go of the end result, holds the promise of zen.

So, why am I talking about Tantric Buddhism instead of Netflix Original Series, The House of Cards? Because in an extremely ruthless, selfish, often vindictive world a group of monks worked on a sand painting in an episode in Season 3.

**Warning House Of Cards Spoiler Up till season 3 Ahead**

House of Cards for me has never been as much about the story line as about individual performances and impactful moments. 

Kevin Spacey and Robin Wright get great dialogues, closeups and dramatic music. 

We get Zoe Barnes thrown under the train. Metchum kissed by our power couple. Spitting at god, and I do mean it quite literally. A web of lies and manipulations, a man rising through the ranks to become a Vice President. Not to settle for that he aims to be the next president of the United States Of America. In the final scene from last season, the camera zooms in, as the president knocks on wood on his desk in the Oval office.

Plot development wise I think season three was not too strong in the political department. We were bogged down by Rachel and Doug's unnecessary tiresome quest to find her. Russian President, Petrov,  was a slime ball. I learnt what Kremlin is.

There was one new character who intrigued me. The writer, Tom Yates. Right from the beginning I had a hunch that his association with Claire would get interesting. There were so many layers of deceit that as a viewer we can never be sure what exactly is the truth of the President and his first Lady.

As he started digging deeper in what made the Underwoods click I ruminated about that too. 

When was it exactly that I had started to like this couple? As individuals they were ruthless. Frank had not one ounce of altruisim in him and Claire could be cold and unfeeling just as easily as her husband. Together, they were brutal.

Still, I liked them. As a couple. They worked. They got each other. Seemed to respected each other. And did not have to pretend to each other.

They cheated on each other. Both did. Then they forgave each other and seemed to move on. I watched disbelieving, surely no one who lived this way had a perfect relationship.

Strangely, somewhere around the nights when they sat sharing a cigarette at their house window I realised maybe I was wrong. Maybe, they do love each other. 

Whenever a crisis came they did not have platitudes or shoulders for each other. "tell me if you need anything".."i'm here for you".. "is there anything I can do".."what do we do?" That's all they ever seemed to say.

Like the writer said in his unfinished book, they were made from the same atoms, bound together by the power they craved and the efficiency that was in their bones. 

I will never know if normal people can be this way, but what I do know is that many episodes back I had stopped judging and only believing in the strength of this relationship. What it gave to both parties involved. It seemed to empower them to reach the heights they desired. It grounded them, and managed to set them free at the exact same time. It was exhilarating to see them jog together at night when their world was literally coming apart. A sense of stability in an otherwise crazy relationship.

He would spend the nights playing video games on a couch. She would come kiss him and go off to sleep. And still I believed that this couple was here to stay.

When all throughout season three a troubled Claire seemed to be cut off from everyone around it was unsettling. I did think Frank tried to reach out to her, but did he? Could he not see she was messed up inside. Badly.

So, what went wrong I am trying hard to unravel. I think the answer lies in what Claire admits. They stopped talking. Oh, they still spoke about Russia and the UN and the hard to satisfy Congress. 

What they forgot to address was how they were slowly drifting apart.  And how lonely it made them. Oh yes it did. I could feel the sadness from across the screen. Right from the very first episode of the new season, right through my binge watching of all the episodes.

She left him. Perhaps, the visionary in Frank Underwood has to admit defeat. Even he and his other half are not meant to always be.

Goodbye Twenty Six

It is Aarwen's birthday today. Rather, since its already past midnight, she is already twenty seven. How could I sleep without a blog post?

How does one feel at 27 I wonder? There are days when I feel a hundred and days when I am convinced that I am all of sixteen and this is some muddled surreal dream.

My friends on my online forum (if you have been paying attention you already know of it, for the new entrants it is India Forum where I made friends over a TV show. We call it IPK) posted messages for me. It was strangly overwhelming. Reading their words of encouragement and compliments I almost want to be worthy of those things that they said of me.

I also watched a movie with lazywiz. Imitation Games. Alan Turing who solved the Enigma and won a war. It was for real.

I can't even begin to comprehend how wires and silicon chips form series of what we expertly call binary data. How this binary data displays into legible text and colorful images on our screens, how this binary data streams into music on our headphones, how these series of zeroes and ones transmit over wires, across oceans and get converted to an intelligent interpretation. And how it is the same chip that make the infinite decisions on what should be sent, what should be received, what to decode and what has already been encoded.

I am a software engineer. I have learnt Physics and all about computers and there I sat in the hall as much, or most probably even more, in awe of the invention than the people next to us.

Inventions. The wheel, steam engine, electricity, penicillin, computers. What our children will take for granted just got introduced when I was young. I have lived half my life without internet or a cell phone. 

I have been blessed to not face a war. Not have to know how to go hungry, not watch my country devastate, not see people I love annihilate. I get to be atleast in theory equal to the men around me. 

There is a couplet that I abide by, that I want to remind myself.

"Sai itna dijiye jame kutumb samaay
Main bhi bhuka na rahu saadhu na bhuka jaye"

A rough translation would be.. god give me so much that it is enough for me  and my family, that neither I go hungry nor any good person in need goes away hungry from me.

Think of it that way and how blessed am I! I get to feel inspired to write watching and reading anything and everything. I feel inspired to be exceptional in the work I do. With the person I live I get inspired. I feel loved by him. I love him. I get to enjoy the air, the wind, the rain, the sun, the stars, the grass, the trees, the flowers. I enjoy the words, the silences.

Touch wood.

I will sleep tonight with a grateful heart. Thank you god.

Out of the blue this song played day before and I fell in love with it. yes its time to open the cage and fly. There is so much I want to do, so much I want to be, and the best thing in the world is I have opportunity. It won't always be simple, but it is what I want to do. It isn't something big, but it is still worth doing because I desire it. So, I should do it. 

And if you are about to go too after your dreams, in the process let us pledge to remember to keep it simple, have fun and be ourselves.

Misery

In vain do I strain,
a single sound
that would ease this pain.
In torment I lie,
face down
and cry.
Why don't you come,
to hold me;
set me free?
Bring back the smile,
that has been gone
only a little while.
Why does the heart
feel torn?
Bleed,
till the hurt
seeps,
mercilessly
in each pore.
This that I say,
is forever true.
My anger,
as my love
is for thee;
As vital as breath
you are for me.
There is darkness
in me.
There is loneliness,
but in this moment
there lies, but vast emptiness.
Come hold me
set me free.
Rock me in your arm,
keep me away from harm;
not much that I demand.
I do need
only you.
Apart, alone
I lay torn.
Heed my call,
save me from this fall.

The hero I like

So its offcial. I actually have a type. That does sound wanton of me, and hardly my type of confession.

Oh no its not the blue eyed tousled hair, not the witty intelligent debonair. Neither the broody silent kind, nor the one who makes love sublime.

As all my anecdotes seem to start, this one also started with a book. I searched for Jane Eyre and reached wikipedia. One click lead to another and soon I reached a dawn of understanding.


"a man proud, moody, cynical, with defiance on his brow, and misery in his heart, a scorner of his kind, implacable in revenge, yet capable of deep and strong affection" 

A bryonic hero.

Exactly what I get drawn to each time, with variation for sure, but right at the bottom I think this is who I find in each character I end up liking. I see him in Heathcliff, I see him in Damon, in Arnav Singh Raizada, a glimpse in Rhett Butler, perhaps even Darcy.

It's actually the sense of force, a distinct thought process and a conviction within that what makes these men inspiring.

Following this sentence is a brilliant few lines of poetry. And this time the inspiration from these lines is not to swoon, but to return to study. There is no way I can even think along these lines, its time I did some digging up of literature. 

Don't get me wrong my English teachers from school are some of my absolute favourites, but they never brought me even close to this fire within. A desperation to learn how to think like these authors, which seems next to impossible. Well, I might just settle to be able to review like these critics.

And in the magnificent era we live in, where even though we are a few romantic heroes short, we have the internet and free online resources at our disposable. 

Leaving you with the lines that are for the hero of my type...

That man of loneliness and mystery,
Scarce seen to smile, and seldom heard to sigh— (I, VIII)


He knew himself a villain—but he deem'd
The rest no better than the thing he seem'd;
And scorn'd the best as hypocrites who hid
Those deeds the bolder spirit plainly did.
He knew himself detested, but he knew
The hearts that loath'd him, crouch'd and dreaded too.
Lone, wild, and strange, he stood alike exempt
From all affection and from all contempt: (I, XI)

All credit to this article goes to wikipedia ~

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Byronic_hero

Random thoughts on The Vampire Diaries

Many times I want to write desperately, but keep putting it off waiting for the right words. This is an attempt at spontaneity.

Well, Vampire Diaries most definitely embodies spontaneity. 

In a mere 40mins there is such a lot that happens. People get killed, some remain dead, some not so dead. People fall in love and then are compelled to forget. There are vampires, werewolves, witches.

And then of course there is Damon Salvatore with his looks and one liners

A whole post about him here - http://aarwensspells.blogspot.com/2015/01/damon-salvatore.html

Specially in the first few seasons the plot twists and turns and exceptionally fast pace is thrilling. Just when you think there is no hope, in waltzs a new character, and right when you think everyone will be walking off into the sunset with a happy ending, in comes another danger.

** Vampire Diaries upto season 4 spoilers ahead**

Who knew the cheer leading captain, bossy childish Caroline could be such a gentle hearted loving vampire? One can actually grow to not only stop hating, but begrudgingly respecting an original (and the story of these first generation vampires was intriguing and beyond interesting), Elijah the honorable and charming vampire. Younger brothers can turn into good looking smart almost grown ups. 

However many times Damon makes a mess of things your heart still gushes seeing him on screen and he is as easily forgiven. Specially when he can have scenes talking as sardonic as ever to a dead best friend that almost make you choke back tears... Hey Damon does order an extra drink and keep a place next to him at the bar for his dead friend..Alaric Saltzman another excellent character.. and this is the reckless Damon who is doing something so sweet, can you blame me for feeling moved?

Then there are the love triangles where you like everyone and you can't say who should get whom and who is meant to be with whom. 

Of course Elena chooses Stefan over Damon.  And aarwen just had to run to lazywiz wailing that it is so wrong a choice. And the look in Damon's eyes. I was sobbing literally. How wrong, not that Stephan is a bad guy. In fact he is one of the best guys and yet there is something about Damon.

Before reaching this decisions Elena says when she is with Damon the feeling consumes him. It was then I could already feel the tear drops prickling in my eyes.

Anyway, having made her decision Elena calls up Damon and says words to this effect.. if only she had met the wrong brother, read Damon, before meeting the right one, read Stephan, things might have been different.. 

A few minutes later Damon lay dying and a flashback reveals she did meet him earlier, only he made her forget, because he does these stupid things without really thinking. 

In the flashback that we got to see, this is what he said to her... "You want a love that consumes you. You want passion and adventure..and even a little danger".. in their very first meeting, the first time he laid eyes on her this is what he told her.

Sigh isn't that what we all want too?

I was here crying, Damon was dying and before you knew it Elena's car went hurtling into the lake over a bridge. She was dead.

Cliff hanger.. yup.. just an example of how unpredictable things can be on a regular day at Mystic Falls or rather in the Vampire Diaries universe.

Damon Salvatore

“Anything less than mad, passionate, extraordinary love is a waste of time. There are too many mediocre things in life to deal with and love shouldn't be one of them.”

There is definitely nothing mediocre and everything mad, passionate and extraordinary about Damon Salvatore's love. The love he had for a ruthless selfish vampire, and the love he has for a lovely modern day girl.

I read Vampire Dairies half a decade ago. I do remember liking the bad brother more than the boring good brother, but the books were not enough to make me ever want to write a blog entry. 

Then came the time I started to watch the show. Ian Somerhalder and his portrayal of Damon changed it all. 

I do want to put this disclaimer that he is the same actor who plays the character Boone in Lost. I wasn't crazy about him then, so this starry eyed response of mine is not just skin deep, though that does have a large role to play.

After all, when there is a seemingly remorseless human blood sucking vampire we are talking about, there should be skin and lust in the picture. Vampire Diaries the TV series is actually quite entertaining. Not as mushy as Twilight some might say, neither as hard to digest as True Blood.

Girls have always had a fascination for the bad boys.. umm in this case the bad vampire. Only he isn't all that bad. Now my post is based on Season 1 so I don't know what's about to happen and some of you might be condescending and shaking your head, thinking how little I do know, but the episodes I have seen give me more than enough reason to find Damon irresistible.

Deadly. Seductive. Ruthless. Sharp. Frenetic. Handsome. Quick Witted. Smirks. Is rude. Arches his eyebrows. Broody (even though he doesn't care to admit it). When he falls for a girl the love lasts for centuries.

That he single minded pursued Katherine for centuries, hating his brother with all of his broken vampire soul itself made him interesting. 

He didn't plan on it, maybe he didn't even know when it sneaked up upon him, but it did. He has fallen for his brother's girl again. And I have to admit Elena is pretty and graceful. I don't know the name of the actress, but I like her too.

So now he can't say it out loud. Atleast not seriously, though he does flirt with her outrageously. He protects her like it is what he is meant to do, scare away vampires and basically just has this special way of staring right at her, like she is all he desires. A lot of times he ends up protecting others too. He can gauge her feelings, he can make her smile. Doesn't treat her like a fragile doll. Understands her and lets her be. Hardly ever talk about his feelings. When he does it is the heady mix of wry remarks and emotions that are raw and resonating, need I keep going?

Never mushy. Always charming. What makes him fun is his unexpected actions, easy assurance, glib talk, smooth walk. 
What makes him wickedly tempting is an unparalleled intensity. An actor who is most devastatingly good looking. A character who is wild and exciting. Enigmatic. Who manages to thrill you as his tenderness could just as easily kill you.

And when you least expect it Damon turns and looks from across the threshold silently at the girl, who is most probably rushing off to save his brother, and you just know the vampire loves her like crazy. His smoldering gaze.. sigh.. At that moment it hardly matters that she belongs to the other decent brother, that Damon Salvatore feeds on humans, all you want is to see him get the girl.

He is extremely comfortable in his skin. We lay too much stress on a good conscience. He doesn't have any, and still I watch in wonder a man with a simple principle. Its all about an eternity of love. You burn in it. You drink it. You let it consume you. You live it.

The place where I am now

A very merry christmas!

I said these very words the other day to someone, and he said, "I don't celebrate christmas". I was undeterred and I flashed a brilliant smile at him and said, "We all celebrate the spirit of christmas".

On that bright sprightly note I sit with my laptop (a different one now, if you are wondering, since my old trusted friend, the laptop I owned was stolen). Its sunny outside and just the fact that I have a holiday makes me happy.

Which naturally leads to one main question in my brain.. what is it that I want to write about..

A while back I had written about a show.. Newsroom.. 
http://aarwensspells.blogspot.com/2014/06/newsroom.html


I watched the finale last week and ruminated about story telling. 

Serendipitously, that was just when my sister-in-law,  the same one who got me to try out 100happydays, read out a quote to me..

"Singing is like praying twice"

I typed in this phrase in google and was about to read about it, when I decided I didn't need to. I can't sing, but I already had a meaning of the phrase in my head and these few moments in the newsroom finale cemented the thought beautifully.

**Warning: Newsroom finale spoilers ahead**

Charlie, the benevolent godfather, lets call him, of all the members of the newsroom, suffered a stroke. There is the intelligent Howard grad who blames her rebellious side for his heart giving up. There is chaos at the uncertainty about the future that might have threatened everyone. And there is the man who has just come out of jail to find his best friend, a father figure in some ways, a beloved boss, gone forever.

They are at Charlie's funeral. And here comes the stellar story telling. The deceased man had two grandchildren.  The viewer is meeting them for the very first time. I could not take my eyes off the elder one. There is a look of distinction, intelligence and sincerity. Child actors in English shows are the very best. 

The man, whose best friends is dead, walks upto his best friend's grandson. And sings.

I am dying to explain why I liked this so much. How beautiful it was, he told the boy the truth. Then a song, to make the boy feel less lonely. Actually an outlet for everyone. And before leaving letting the boy simply know, "If you need someone to talk to, now that your grandfather won't be around, I am here". 

I shouldn't explain it you. That is the point. None of this had to be explained. The creators rely on the intellect of the audience and on the response from their gut. 

You may like it for some completely different reason. You may like the song just by itself. You may have liked the scene for the memories it brings of such nice characters that the show has. It will be personal and yours.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kp04NqmwWn4

I can't embed the video here, but do click and please watch this.

This episode taught me about writing too, because that is where I am now. I want to write. And write well. While this scene played out I suddenly felt inspired.

The trick is in leaving the things unsaid also speak in the most profound ways. The trick is in suffusing joy in hearts of people who will read the words I have penned down. The trick is in inspiration while entertaining. The trick is in being yourself. The trick is in believing in magic. The trick is in enjoying what you are doing. The trick is in letting your skill speak to you. The trick is in concentrating on the now and allowing it to lead you to unknown limitless spaces.

"Memphis is a stand in for wherever you are right now. That it really means, thats how I got here."

- Charlie Skinner quoting his teenage grandson

A story to tell

The last 24 hours have been perhaps every blog writers secret fantasy. With enough substance to fill pages. There is intrigue, love, evil, heartbreak, dreams, friendship, atleast if you care to view it in that sense.

So without further ado I present to you the happenings of the night before.

Actually it started in the afternoon when aarwen was msged by a frantic lazywiz. There were tickets on sale for a play. Pride and Prejudice. Of course she had to say she would love to go.

So they went. Three hours of a charming show. Each dialogue faithfully spoken, even the narration used as dialogues by the actors. Did you ever notice how many tough words Jane Austen used in her book? How the sentence construction was complicated beyond imagination, but how the end product was most certainly delightful..

Mr Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet are characters that have become archetypes embodying essential characteristics of a hero and heroine of a love story. Heroes are meant to be haughty but genuine and heroines have to be unconventional witty, yet sometimes a beautiful damsel in distress. Defy rules, maybe laid down by your own self, overcome prejudice, drop pride (or maybe too much of pride because a little of it is quite a perfectly good thing to have).  One has to melt and feel joy erupt, fall head over heals beyond reasonable judgement in irrevocable love. A little stormy, a little timeless, simple and still confounding. A love story.

A memory of the spotlight on a pair of lovers. The intelligent girl with bright startling eyes standing on tip toe to kiss the arrogant noble man. And just when the night could not have felt better in the parking lot they noticed their car window shattered.

What was stolen you want to know? Well one might say her office bag which had her laptop, headphones, phone charger and a notebook. But that's where the story begins. Two years of her life. Treasures safely tucked away in the black electronic chest. Office notes, IPK (you know that wonderful TV show?) edits, videos, photographs, writing.

My roommate , thought technically am ex, put it rather well I think when she said laptops are like an extension of oneself. I would go a little further. Do you happen to know the concept of horcruxes? Those objects that carry a part of one's soul.. J. K. Rowling explains this quite brilliantly in Harry Potter and in case you haven't read it you might surely want to stop reading this post and spend your time reading those books instead. The laptop was quite decidedly a horcrux.

Mr thief, you stole it. Do you know what all you stole? Not the money.. not the anxiety.. and really it gets quite depressing having things stolen from you.. but you stole memories.. No wonder Dumledore liked to siphon his thoughts into a pensieve for safe keeping.. again a brilliant device out of J.K.Rowling's imagination.

That was yesterday. Well I did promise a thrilling tale of an eventful 24 hours, so what followed?

Barun Sobti. Yes yes the TV actor I really really like. Only now as of the 12th of December, he is no longer just a TV actor, he is a movie star. I have been going crazy waiting for this and the day is finally here. Main Aur Mr Riight his debut movie released.

My friends and I and a lot of fans I don't really know, have all fervently prayed that he get success, but seems his movie isn't getting a favourable review. And me, in Seattle I don't even get to watch it. Can only hear and get more nervous.

But strangely as today came, and I knew he is on screen, I don't worry at all. He acts well. This I know. The reviews all praised him as an actor, of this am thankful. And am calm. He will be fine. Paraphrasing what Shahrukh Khan had to say, "Our lives are like our films. By the end everything turns out right, and if it hasn't, then picture abhi baki hai mere dost".

A lot of the readers must be indignant at this point. I know I promised love as well in this story. Kept the very best for the very last.

"No measure of time with you is enough, but lets start with forever".

                                                                             ~ Edward to Bella

You might wonder of Aarwen's mental state right this instant. And she let me assure you she isn't in a state to tell because she is overwhelmed with a feeling.

5 years of memories. You can take away a laptop, but Aarwen has spent 5 years with Lazywiz. If we go into technicalities its closer to 10 now. But formally 5 it is. 

Thank you is too common a word to express the sentiment. You are home. You are my best friend. When I found you I found who I was meant to be. You are off hand and tender. And then when you casually remark, "Danerys Targeryn tries to be good", when someone asks, "Is she good?", I can only look at you and wonder how I found you. You thrill me, make me laugh, make me safe, bring me peace. And this really is the story to tell. I love you. 

Doppleganger

How I Met Your Mother. Quite a legend has it become in popular culture. I have been watching it for a while, but finally had to write this in because I was surprisingly very deeply touched at some profound observations the show's protagonist Ted Mosby, who is on a perennial quest to find his soulmate, enumerates to his children.

I realized amongst all the inane crazy events on the show are important lessons in friendships that don't break come what may and that let you remain your crazy self. There is also that vital lesson in living life. In taking everything with that dash of spice, in not taking troubles and setbacks too seriously, in naively believing in love, in being positive cheerful and upbeat, but not worrying too much if you are none of these.

I guess am being a little too earnest because your only reason to watch the show might as well be the witty suave sometimes unbearably pompous always suited, the legendary,.. wait for it.. Barney.

Robin: Looks like I'm getting dumber.
Ted: No, just more courageous. Look, we've all been searching for The Five Doppelgangers, right?
Robin: Mm.(muttering)
Ted: But eventually, over time, we all become our own doppelgangers. You know, these these completely different people who just happen to look like us. "Five Years Ago Robin"? That girl, she was pretty great. But Doppelganger Robin? She's amazing.

                                                         - A lovely scene from HIMYM

So this is what got me thinking. Even a year back would I be stalking twitter waiting for updates on a hero (yes am doing this for #BarunSobti, the hero from my show #IPK.. err who knew talking in hashtags could get this addicting?) ?

We start off as someone else and evolve over life. Our priorities, our aims, the way we perceive, can all change. Does that make us our own doppleganger? Perhaps it does, and that is okay. In fact going by what ted has to say, it is amazing!

It's the opportunity life gives us to try out everything we want to, to live in any which way we want to, be who we want to. The question is do we have the courage to embrace the opportunity?

I have always been taught to be ambitious and nice. There was a time when I wanted to do just that and also be this heroine straight out of a  Sooraj Barjatiya movie. A mixture.

And now I don't want a crowd or excitement around me, I want to sit quietly with just me and this one other person who is becoming his own doppleganger too. I am not too scared to say 'No' when I don't want to. When did I start my journey of becoming this person whom I really like? 

To that also Ted has an answer. I have always believed in signs from the universe and when he said this I was almost struck by lightening at how true it is.

"people can look for signs all they want, but usually only see what they want to see, when they're ready to see it"

                                                                    - A wise old, Ted Mosby

In Budhism a key facet of the religion is being open to change. The young Sidhartha sat under the bodhi tree and witnessed the world transform, the wind blow, seeds germinate, birds fly, rain drops fall on parched land, trees wither away. He sat and watched time pass by. It brought him enlightenment. He became the Budha.

Our lives are the same. We can never remain stagnant, be exactly who we were maybe even a single moment ago. So the poignant question to ask is did you notice yourself today? Did you listen to what your heart desired and where your mind wanted to reach? 

Don't be scared to remain the same or try out something new. The only worry is if you are not giving your own instinct a chance. Don't fear who you will turn out to be, because a goofy TV character has wisely said we all become our dopplegangers one day and we are absolutely amazing that way.

Main aur Mr Riight

Its no longer a leaked video.. but an actual official trailer. A catchy song, a crazy hero.. cute, refreshing Main aur Mr Riight.

Sometimes when you wait for too long for something.. wishing hard for it to be perfect.. a sense of anti climax might issue.. or expectations break..

That DID NOT happen! on the contrary these 2 minutes have made me break into repeatedly smiles that am having a hard time to control.. my feet are tapping and my heart soars..

Wishing you all the luck..

Munda desi desi daru..

Physics and creativity

Aarwen has been wallowing in misery and self pity. Work has descended into her life and kept her away from here and everywhere else she would rather be.

Today morning however, LazyWiz has reminded her she is not like this. She can take life and remain cheerful. No wonder Aarwen loves lazyWiz.

So now onto writing and feeling good and stop cribbing.

I have always felt creativity is all about the unique edge in thought. And wonder when and if I will get it?

If you are remotely interested in Physics or in getting awestruck at creativity, then these videos you will love. 

Maybe in some parallel universe am happily writing and watching my TV show and reading books. So in this one I will continue with renewed vigour and zeal to write code. 

 There was a time not too far back I loved coding. Maybe I still do. And in this flow of time if writing code means unable to write a story, then there is a branch of time flow where writing still means a story.

A dash of spice and everything that is nice Part 2

A thrilled Aarwen has strictly instructed me to write here how happy and proud she is of a certain lazywiz. 

So, since my last post, I have been on a trip to Las Vegas. Played on a roulette table all by myself. I have moved to a different team in office and for the record I loved my old team. Also the list that I have on the top right of this blog has proven lucky.

I completed reading Bourne Identity. That most definitely needs a post of its own. And I started watching Vampire Diaries. And Damon alone might need atleast a couple of posts to touch on the level of attraction the character holds. Do you think its possible a wild vampire is able to hypnotize innocent blog writers from within the TV screen?

So what scares and saddens me about this change in office? 

Reason for sadness.. is relatively straightforward. I loved my team, even though there were only 3 of my old team members remaining, one of the prime reasons why my team did disintegrate. 

What frightens me is that in the new team I might actually have to get involved in work that needs longer durations of being focused. Which in itself would have been an exciting challenging prospect, but given my current state of mind that wishes to be left blank and alone in order for it to find words as and when needed, the move can hardly be beneficial for my writing.

Well one adapts. One learns. One face challenges. One finds reasons to be happy.

My current reason. The sound of raindrops falling outside.
As I sit all alone in my house I concentrate on the sound of falling rain. Its soothing and a precious feeling of grateful calm that I want to gather close.

By the way, today is the day I was deliciously rude to someone(still in my head,but still its quite a start). Felt liberating. And thrilling.

And a special thank you to ASR (my show IPK's hero), to House (he is a brilliant doctor, I have to write about this show soon), to a famous detective (Sherlock Homes to be precise), to a certain vampire(and no its not Edward, but a blood sucking remorseless wicked kind) and lazywiz. 

All teach me an extremely valuable, actually priceless, lesson in being myself. That it is absolutely acceptable to be intelligent and not please everyone every time.  That rules can be broken. That one liners are a preferred form of communication, and you need not be apologetic about it. Wit, humour, even impatience, arrogance, compulsive hard-to-get-along-behaviour is better than normal if you can carry it off. And behind all this can still exist the most purest of heart (and I whisper this last fact, because if you have paid any heed to all that I noted before this, the kind heart is hardly needed and definitely changes nothing at all)

Here's to freedom! To be genuine.. and to be able to define what you consider genuine.