arshi SS: Hamesha ~ a heartbeat away, chapter 21

Chapter 21

Arnav Singh Raizada strode towards his di's room. In his mind he had painfully relived Anjali's blank stare and listless words uncountable times since the denouement of Shyam Manohar Jha.

He paused in front of her door. 

Right in front of the door Akash and Payal were sitting cross legged on the floor with anxious expressions on their faces. They looked young. Then again, they were young. Though ASR himself was most probably only a few years elder to them, what he lacked in numbers he had made up in his experiences.

Deviyani Raizada might be the head of the family in matters of spirit and in ethics, but in deeds and actions her eldest grandson had donned the mantle of the grown up who looked after everyone. Even in this instant, when his head was a dark dense jumble of the past and the not so past, ASR continued to think about his family. 

Whether it was this sole focus of ensuring everyone got through the night that kept him in control of himself or was it the other way around, if asked, no doubt he would not have been able to determine for himself. There was no difference. He would be the one to make sure everyone got through. bas. And there was no question that he would make sure everyone was fine.

Payal started to rise seeing him, but he gestured her not to. The girl looked exhausted enough as is. He liked Payal. Her steady loyal spirit, sensible attitude, grace and firmness of opinion would make her an excellent partner for Aakash. 

Even though his primary focus lay beyond the closed door ASR was looking out for everyone. That is what he did.

"di had calmed down a bit bhai, but wanted some time alone so we came outside", Akash informed ASR.

ASR nodded, before noting in a calm voice as he pushed open the door, "I want to talk to her".



Anjali had thought about changing out of her light pink net saree. However, as she stood in front of her closet looking at her sarees she felt silly. What did one wear after your world had just crashed apart? What color suits you when everyone accuses your husband of cheating on you? What length of sleeves were right for your blouse? With a hysteric sob she had given up on the idea of changing.

She was still all dressed up for the engagement party that had been meant to take place. Dazzling chandelier earrings, rows of carefully arranged bangles in varying shades of pink, in varying thickness, a diamond studded choker, all adorned her. Her most festive addition was perhaps the most tragic of all.

A thick long line of vermillion red from where her hair parted on the forehead straight upwards, till it got lost in the thick black hair. She loved to put sindoor this way, in copious quantity, during functions and festivals. Her choice was expected in a way, after all she loved being married. She loved being married to Shyamji.

"di aap thik hain? di talk to me", her little brother sat near her feet at the edge of the bed.

(di are you okay?)

He had always been strong. Even when she thought she had left the past behind, she had needed support, while her chote had provided support to all. Her chote..

"please", his voice was barely above a whisper.

What she had been resolutely trying to ignore in the past hours had to be finally faced. Buaji, Khushi bhabhi..and most importantly her chote.. All couldn't be wrong.. still..

Anjali raised her hand and stroked his cheek, "hum thik hai chote. I just..", her voice wobbled and trailed away.

(I am all right)

Was she strong enough? She wasn't .. She couldn't be.. Not without Shyamji.. Her Shyamji.

ASR grasped her shivering wrist and held it firmly against his cheek. "di I am sorry. I didn't know. I couldn't do anything even after I came to know. I.. I failed you..".  All the agony in him came tumbling out at the hope of acceptance in her tone.

She had known Shyamji had changed.. When exactly she couldn't say for sure.. but he had changed..

"nahi chote. You didn't. You did tell me, tried to warn me, but I chose not to see. didn't want to believe you. I  still don't. I wish there was some other explanation", bereft, her eyes wandered to the framed photograph. She and Shyamji were posing for the camera, on their first wedding anniversary. 

Had it been three years already? What would she do when the day of her anniversary came this year?

"di", ASR's voice was hushed, still laced with urgency. When he was sure he had her attention he continued, "di Shyam", he swallowed, trying to form the sentences.

Then he rushed into it, "he had been doing all sorts of wrong. galat. Aman found out about his money laundering.. And Khushi".

Khushi Kumari Gupta's name lay suspended in the air. 

Arnav loved her to distraction. She was the girl for whom Shyamji had been willing to cheat on Anjali. Anjali's head hurt terribly, all she wanted was to curl into her chote's lap and sleep. When she would wake this nightmare would have ended. 

No.. It would not end.. The pain had to be faced..

"Shyam", soft, laced with sadness Anjali said the name. "I remember now this was Khushi bhabhi's", she paused, not wishing to go ahead with the sentence. "this was buaji's paying guest's name. I am not blind chote. hum jante hai jo tum sab keh rahe ho falls into place lekin hum.."

(I know what you all are saying, but I)

She leant forward, wanting his support. Placing her head on his shoulder she continued, "about the money also I think I have had a suspicion for long, just I chose to ignore it. hum dekhna nai chahte the. You know, nothing else mattered to me, I have been so happy these past few years".

(I didn't want to see)

She choked at the words. Her body shook as she tried to hold back the sobs.

"di aap mat socho. We'll find a way. I am here. I'll be right next to you", he sounded very young, his voice raw with emotion. 

(don't think of it.)

He had promised her the same fourteen years ago and made sure it was actually all okay.

"chote if anyone could have made everything back to the way it was, it would be you, but not this time", she said looking directly at him with infinite love in her trusting eyes.

He laid his head onto her lap. They sat that way for a long time till a small smile appeared on Anjali's face.

"And why will you be next to me? Kal hum bahut busy hai aur tum bhi. tumhari aur Akash ki shadi hain".

(tomorrow I am very busy and you too. It is your and Akash's wedding)

"lekin di"

(but di)

"I won't lie chote. Not to you. There is a gaping hole in my heart right now. Even though specially for the past year Shyamji has been distant and I have felt lonely at times I still can't quite comprehend how he could do something like this. humare Shyamji. humara dimag sach samajh raha hai par dil maan nahi raha".

(my Shyamji. my brain understands the truth but my heart refuses to accept it)

"di we will face it together". There was a sincere promise in him. As if with sheer force of will he would erase all tragic memories from di'd broken heart.

"ha chote. lekin is baar hum dukho ko humari khushiyan nahin cheenane denge. You have to get married".

(yes, but this time we will not let troubles snatch away our happiness)


****


Akash looked at the girl sitting next to him.  Her usual serene face was overcast with anxiety. Akash found his heart overwhelm with emotions for the girl who worried deeply for his family. 

He has not old fashioned at all, but he liked the fact that she cared. He liked that she had a quiet reserved air, but when she smiled it reached and lit up her beautiful eyes.

Payal was in a fiery orange lehenga that had sparse silver thread work. Her sunny yellow dupatta of a shimmery light fabric was in disarray. Since the time he had joined his bhai in the fashion house business his love for designs, cloth, colors had grown.  He reached out to feel the material against his fingers.

His abrupt movement had startled Payal, but his hand firmly slid along her dupatta till it reached her hand. His fingers interwove with hers. "The orange brings out your strength. You seem to glow with it".

The smile he had missed made a shy appearance back on her face. She squeezed his hand tightly, relieved that all the chaos of the past few hours had not soured their relation.  She had grown to expect Akash's quiet, placid loving. Seeing him in a serious mood had made her nervous.  Perhaps this was marriage, she mused, where you saw the one you love in all his different moods.

They got a few minutes to enjoy this shy peaceful companionship before NK was upon them. Payal tried to move her hand away, but unwillingly to let her go Akash shifted closer to her. He had managed to effectively screen the hands that still held on to each other.

"main di ka haal check karne ke liye aaya", NK announced.

(I came to check how di is)

"bhai is with her", Akash informed him, hoping he would leave soon, so Akash could go back to getting to spend some time alone with Payal.

However, it appeared that NK had no intention of leaving. He remained towering, smiling loopily, over the couple sitting on the floor.

"tum dono ki chori kamaal hai Akash Payal bhabhiii", he declared in a sing song loud voice.

(your concealment is great)

Akash immediately pulled back his hand, while Payal flushed.

"chori?",  the nervous lover stammered.

(concealment?)

"ha Akash..chori.. Ladka ladki.. Couple",  NK gestured excitedly with his hands pointing at the couple in front of him.

(yes concealment.. boy girl..)

"aapka matlab.. jodi.. chori nai NK bhaiya", Payal  laughed. She sounded so wonderful that Akash just had to reach out for her hand again. If NK got to see, then let him. He would hold Payal's hand right now.

(you mean couple)

The door to di's room opened and ASR walked out. Akash's hand again flew out of Payal's.


****

Deviyani Raizada was holding out branches with fresh leaves for lakshmiji to munch on. Watching Lakshmiji go about in her usual way brought a sense of calm and was helping to clear the worried old lady's thoughts. Even then her shoulders were hunched over bearing a heavy burden of the past.

She would make sure Anjali bitiya got past this tough time. Her Nani was right there with her..

"saasuma hum keh det hai hum sab Anjali bitiya ke taking carej kari hai par kal agar do do nayi bahuriyan shantivan ma enteringj naahi ki tab ee original bahuriya bhil also leabhingj shantivan".

(I am telling you this we will all take care of Anjali bitiya but if tomorrow two new daughter in laws don't enter shantivan then this original daughter in law will also leave Shantivan)

Manorama Raizada, the self proclaimed original daughter-in-law of the shantivan household and burst into the room and attempted to convince the head of the family.

Unknown to her Deviyani Raizada shoulders perked up a bit. She bit back the hint of smile and sternly replied, "there was no question of the wedding not happening Manorma".

"dekhiye saasuma hum.. Oh.. Hmm.. Okaay hello hi bye bye", not expecting such a smooth resolution manorma Raizada walked away to share this news with her husband. In her version of the incident she was already deciding upon adding a little color and excitement.

(look here sasuma)



ASR was in his room When his Nani came to him. "chote I need you to take me somewhere".

"ha nani", he quickly got up and picked his SUV keys.

"where do you want to go?", he asked when they were seated in his car.

"we are going to LakshmiNagar. hum khushi aur Payal bitiya ke ghar walo se milna chahte hai. And you will come with me. We will have the wedding tomorrow chote, ranta bitiya's one child has had her heart broken par hum unke chote ki khushi ghar lake rahenge".

(I want to meet Khushi and Payal's family... I will bring chotes happiness home)

Tears has pooled into the wrinkled, but sharp eyes and a few spilt over when her grandson reached to squeeze her tiny hand in his strong young hand.

 "Here, I think you need this. I am very proud of you chote hamesha.. Aur ab thora hasiye aapke bhya hone wala hai".

(now smile a little, you are about to get married) 

She handed him a small velvet box and then showering her blessings stoked his forehead.


****


There was a subdued atmosphere in the Gupta house. Even the vociferous buaji sat silent, her head tied with a red and white checked cotton hand towel. Garima was wringing her hands, tensed about the showdown in Shantivan.  She knew if Khushi's babuji was able to voice his opinion he would have insisted that the truth be told. Yes, Garima was proud of her daughters, but also worried for not just them, but the sweet Anjali bitiya as well.

Khushi came and handed a round of freshly brewed tea to everyone. Buaji and her amma were quick to notice how forlorn she looked.

"khoosi come sit with us, while we wait for your jiji to return from Shantivan", Garima sweetly coaxed her daughter, knowing some company would do her good tonight.

"ha titiliya aur eeha baith kar jara humara sir bhi dabai diyo nand kisore", buaji chimed in as well, eager to have Khushi chattering away as usual.

(sit here and press my forehead a little)

Placing her cup on the table Khushi rushed to her buaji and with both her hands pressed on her temples with a little too much vigor.

"haye re nand kisore.. Sankadevi will you make my headache worse.. Kono jarurat nahi .. Nand kisore.. I am fine", buaji bellowed.

(no need)

Giggling Khushi picked up her cup of tea, two biscuits from the plate and went to sit outside under the stars. She felt like spending some time with her amma babuji tonight.

"devi maiyya what must be happening there right now? I wish.."

A car had halted in front of their gate. A car distinctly so outrageously out of place in the congested lane of Shantinagar that there was no question who was inside it.

Too dazed to do anything but gape with an open mouth Khushi just sat and watched while naniji and her Arnavji stepped out of the car.

When naniji reached the Gupta house steps good sense finally prevailed and Khushi called out to buaji.


"Khushi bitiya aap baithiya eeha. I will go inside myself".

Deviyani Raizada was very fond of Khushi. From the first day she had met this cheerful, cultured, warm hearted girl she had gained a place in her heart. Anyone who was liked by lakshmiji was immediately placed in Deviyani Raizada's good books. And Khushi was not just loved by Lakshmiji, but by chote as well. 

With a smile she entered the house, trying to calm down the excited buaji, who was frantically trying to clean up the Gupta drawing room which was highly unprepared for the arrival of such a guest. It was quite a feat that Deviyani Raizada managed to show no surprise at a towel tied around Madhumatiji's head. No doubt where Khushi got her endearing.. what did madhumatiji call it?.. ha sanka.. 

"hum eeha khud aana chahte the. To tell you all there is nothing to worry. Your daughters will come to our house as our daughters tomorrow. Shaadi mein kauno badha nahi aayegi. Shaadi ke chal pahal se Anjali bitiya ka bhi thora man lag jayega". In her usual forthright manner she eased all worries.

(I wanted to come here myself. There will be no obstacle in this marriage. the hustle bustle of marriage will keep Anjali engages as well).

"eeha aapne humari chinta door kar di aur ooha nand kisore Arnav bitwa humari parmeswari ka bhi chehra khilkhila denge", buaji was wiping away big fat drops of tears with her towel, the same one that was bound on her head. 

(Here you have rid out worries and there Arnav will make our Khushi happy as well)

All the elders looked on at their children sitting on the steps outside. How young they were! How much in love.. How much happiness lay ahead of them.



****


Outside ASR  sat down on the steps.

"khushi apna muh band karo and sit", he had an intimate air of saying these things, with his lips pursed, as if it was a thrilling secret only meant for her ears. 

(close your mouth)

She sat down and started talking gaining momentum as she went along. "Arnavji how is di? wo thik hai? aap thik hai? Did you talk to her? You know I wanted to talk to you, but.."

(is she all right? are you?)

"Do you ever get tired of talking?", he was genuinely contemplating on her ability to talk non stop.

"nahi. In two things I never tire. Eating and talking, but then if you have you phone in your ear then even you keep talking.. Oh talking nahi..iscolding.."

Just having him in front of her was making her light headed. A few minutes back,  she had felt drained and anxious, and now even though she was worried about a million different things her shoulders felt lighter. It was like the rain clouds had parted and the sun had come out, which was silly because it was evening and dark now. 

"arnavji aapki amma", she asked in a small voice, hesitating to broach the subject, but longing to reach out to the aching man.

He went completely still for a second. She forgot to breath in that second.

She didn't want him to brood. All she wanted was to share and soothe.

"Her husband cheated on her. Chaudah saal ka tha jab meri ma ne .. She committed suicide".

(I was 14 years old when my mother)

He did not want to break down now. He wanted to distract himself, and her loving touch would only weaken his hold on himself. He took a moment to gulp down the bitter memories. She had moved closer to him, her slender body radiating a comforting warmth. 

His Khushi.. Today she knew all his secrets.. Today she was a part of all of him..

"by the way I have something for you", he took out a ring from his pocket.

Her heart had leapt, but she hastily demurred, "par Arnavji with di so sad how can I" ?

"Don't fuss Khushi. Apna hath do mujhe", his face was taut.

(give me your hand)

In a flash a sunset at the mandir she remembered. Khadoos laad governor had been scaring her then as well, even though he had been insisting on bandaging her bleeding finger.

"humein nahi dena hai", she turned away from him, and walked some step apart.

(I don't want to give)

"don't talk to me in that tone. I brought this specially for you. here..", his expression was sour as he concentrated on the task at hand, but within seconds the sourness had transformed to infinite tenderness.

It was unnaturally dark, only a full moon and infinite stars shone on them. The wind had picked up speed.  Her dupatta joyously fluttered with the breeeze.

He had taken her hand and slipped on the ring. His ring.

The ring had a slender platinum band, which was cool against Khushi's skin. All the heat came from ASR's fingers as they slid the ring onto her finger. On the platinum band were three clusters of small brilliantly cut diamonds. As a whole they sparkled in tandem, but each had a rhythm of its own on which they individually glittered.

She held still, his hand still holding hers. 

He raised his eyes and looked at her. Only it wasn't just one look, it was drenched and dripping in an infinite ocean of emotions.  Turbulent. Stormy. Placid. Deep. Of love, trust, friendship and a vow of hamesha. His eyes were saying it all.

"di was with me when I brought this. I thought the stones would remind you of stars. Three stars. Tumhare amma babuji aur meri ma hamesha tumhare sath honge. Khushi main .. I love you.". A compelling vulnerability had seeped into his words.

(your father mother, my mother will always be with you)

He had said it again. Calmly. Without shouting.  Was devi maiyya listening?

She wanted to giggle in happiness or cry because she felt overwhelmed or throw her arms around him, but there was something that she wanted to do even more.

"Arnavji hum bhi aapse I love you dammit", she just had to whisper. And though her voice quivered a bit, her smile was shy, and her face had a disarming honesty. 

Her words were poetry, because he felt like bursting into a song, or dancing or laughing or doing something insane. He could kiss her, but then he might not be able to stop, and he was definitely not in a mood to stop. So he settled for a close second.

"hmm.. We'll have to work on what you call me. Arnav is just fine. And you can start practicing from tomorrow. Tumhe yaad hai na, kal humari suhaag raat hai Khushi".

(you do remember, don't you? tomorrow is our wedding night)

And he winked. An outrageous flamboyant wink.

She could not believe her eyes or her ears. Dream Arnav..ji.. And the Arnavji in front of her had intermingled into one.

She blushed a deep shade of scarlet. Unsure of how to react she bit her lower lip and fumbled with her dupatta while in her heart a now persistent pleasant cascade of music rose.

dhak dhak dhak dhak..



****

arshi SS: Hamesha ~ a heartbeat away, chapter 19

Chapter 19


Khushi Kumari Gupta stared at her reflection and frowned. She was wearing a pale yellow chiffon saree with embroidered orange roses all along the edges.What was the point of flowers if they couldn't be seen! She had unsuccessfully been trying to pin up her aanchal so that the flowers showed.

With an exasperated sigh she looked at the reflection of Arnav Singh Raizada. He was wearing a navy blue and white horizontal stripped v-neck sweater. Actually, it was not really a sweater... Khushi wasn't sure what to call it because sweaters were supposed to be hand knitted, baggy, but this fit Arnavji perfectly. His lean structure highlighted further by the fabric and Khushi had no idea how that was even possible for a sweater to do.

Arnavji's head was bent towards his laptop. His brow was furrowed, as always, in deep concentration. His eyes had forgotten to blink it seemed. She was tempted to remain standing and go on staring.

Startled out of her staring, she hit herself on her forehead.. "hey devi maiyya I am already late"..

Raising her voice she called out, "Arnavji will you help me with my saree?Hum.."

"shut up Khushi", his eyes had not moved from the screen.

Indignantly Khushi walked upto him. "Arnavji aap..".

She did not continue. Her words did not seem to have broken his concentration at all. Full of ire, she was about to turn away, when a firm brown hand shot out, grasped her wrist and pulled.

She found herself seated on his lap, cocooned in his warmth. A fuzzy feeling had crept inside her. That was before she realized she was staring into the most beautiful pair of brown eyes. Her insides were melting, a light headedness descending.

"Actually I prefer Arnav", he stated, complacent to have her where she was. "tum kuch keh rahi thi? Hmm?".. And his lips moved closer to her..

(you were saying something..)



Khushi woke up with a start, her heart racing. She made sure Payal was sleeping soundly before tip toeing out of the room. In the kitchen she lit a single candle. The light was enough, as she had long ago by hearted the place of each jar that contained the ingredients for her jilebis.

She swirled her hair into a knot, shook her head vigorously to make sure there was no threat of errant strands escaping their confine. With a distracted air she firmly fastened the end of her dupatta along her slim waist.

Then she dumped a heaped cup of flower into a big steel mixing bowl. Even in the dim candle light the steel gleamed. Buaji made sure her age old utensils shone. However, the girl busy preparing the batter for jilebis noticed none of this.

Khushi had come to expect that the laad governor would find a way into her dreams. Only lately instead of only scaring her and infuriating her as he had numerous times before, these days he affected her in all sorts of other ways.

She felt like dancing, and bursting into a song and eating a million jilebis every time he looked at her. His eyes holding a promise of sparkling stars that he would bring for her. His touch ignited every nerve within her, but she never felt as secure as in his arms. devi maiyya humein kya ho raha hai.. kya yehi..


(what is happening to me?.. is this..)

She clenched her eyes tight.. devi maiyya humein Arnavji se pyar ho gaya hai..Her eyes flew open, wide and sparkling as the candle flame reached the iris.

(I have fallen in love with Arnavji)

She used her handed to swirl the batter in a fervid circular motion. She could not be falling in love with that laad governor..

Last time she had thought all this it had ended with his declaration.. koi faraq nai parta.. But even then she had not walked away. She could not. And even then she had felt safe. Heartbroken, but the thought of not seeing him had been more painful. Not talking to him hurt even more.

She knew him now. Understood him. His curt words, angry glares, the boyish look that came upon with when he broke into a smile, she was in love with all of him.

In utter panic she flicked her wrist s the jilebi batter flowed into the hot oil. In two days she was going to marry him. Not because of jiji, not because of a playful plan, not because of di. devi maiyya hum Arnavji ke paas rehna chahte hai.. hamesha..


(I want to stay close to him.. forever)

In a flash her mind remembered the sneering words of a devious man. Shyamji had blocked her way as she had been rushing out of Arnavji's room that morning. She had been blissfully happy and his words had poisoned her mood. She did not want to listen to him, definitely not believe him, but they rang in her ears.

"Saale saab does not love anyone except his family. And he has only one family..rani sahiba.. He may be sorry for you, but that is it. Par hum aapse pyar karte hai Khushiji".

(But I love you)

She had shrieked and warned him, "humse dur rahiye Shyamji".

(Stay away from me)

He had gone on however. "We understand each other Khushiji. Our middlle class simple lives. Wo aap pe bas taras kha rahe hai. Rani sahiba asked him so he agreed to the wedding. He does not love you".

(He is simply sorry for you)
She had wanted to slap him again, but the house was full of people. She had turned her back on him and not thought about his words. But what if it was true? What if Arnavji was doing all this just to be helpful?

"kya hua hai Khushi? tum jilebia jala kyu rahi ho?", Payal was rubbing her sleepy eyes, but looking extremely worried seeing a distraught Khushi and a plate full of burnt to char jilebis.

(what happened? Why are you burning jilebis?)

Khushi looked at the black crispy remains of her favourite food.. Black.. his color..and flung herself onto Payal. "jeeji 2 din mein humari shadi hai.."

(my wedding is in two days)

"Khushi kya baat hai? Tum thik toh ho na?", alarmed, Payal stroked her sisters hair lovingly.

(what is the matter? Are you alright?)
"humein nai pata jeeji.. Kuch garbar hai". Khushi looked forlorn and miserable.

(I don't know.. there is something wrong)

"Khushi tell me what is worrying you? You know you can talk me to me", Payal asked her gently.

"kuch bhi toh nai jiji.. Humari shaadi ho rahi hai.. To that laad governor.. Jilebiya toh jalengi hi na.. See its black.. His color", and Khushi laughed merrily.

(nothing at all.. I am getting married)

Payal knew she would not get anything more out of Khushi, but she hoped Arnavji would take care of whatever it was that was troubling Khushi.

"chalo ab sone chalo".

(come lets us sleep)


****


ASR moved with a brisk pace, a black tie in one hand, the other adjusting the blue tooth to his ears. He continue to rattle of instructions to Aman at a singularly fact pace. He knew at the other end Aman's hands would be flying over his notepad, not missing a single detail.

"aap samajhte kya hai khud ko?"

(what do you think of yourself?)

He whirled around, his eyes resting on her. He didn't think he would ever get used to seeing her right in front of him. A sudden burst of life that shot up his bloodstream every time she came before him.

She looked angry. She was in her regular Khushi clothes today. Green and yellow with lots of dangling bits everywhere. As she continued to fume in anger her small earrings swayed catching his undivided attention.

"Aman I'll call you back". He disconnected the call. "kya hua Khushi?", he asked her in a steady voice.

(what happened?)

"Don't act like you don't know".

What in the hell was she talking about?

"Buaji told me you sent babuji for check up to the hospital. Hum khud kar lenge. I can take care of babuji on my own. Humein aapki madad nai chahiye. You don't need to pity us. Humein aapka ehsan nai chahiye, hum seh nai payenge".

(I can do it myself. I don't need your help. I don't need a favor from you, I won't be able to bear it)

"Khushi wait.. Listen to me dammit", ASR extended his hand out to reach her, but she had turned and stomped off.

Her foot caught at the rug end and she hurtled forward, her phone falling to the floor. He rushed to her, voice urgent and worried, "Khushi dhyan se, lagi tumhe?".

(be careful, did you get hurt?)

"Tum thik ho?", his hand was still on her shoulder.

(are you okay?)

She was staring at him, tears pooling into her limpid eyes. They slowly stood up together, their gaze not leaving the other.

"Khushi main.." , he swallowed.

It was time to tell her how he really felt. Pity? He wanted to laugh at her crazy deduction. What he felt for her was..

She was gone before he could complete his thought, let alone say it out loud. Her tinkering payal was all that could be heard. He made a move to follow her, but dashed into Anjali right outside his door.

"Aapko lagi di?", he held out a hand to support her.

(are you hurt?)

"offo no chote, but tumhe lagegi if you dare step out of the house today. We need to buy a ring for Khushi bhabhi. And since your wife is going to wear it on her finger every day, you should select it for her. Ab chalo. Itna time nahi hai baba. Kal saadi hai", Anjali had oscillated between looking scary and happy during the entire breathless speech.

(you will get hurt.. now come. we don't have time to waste. Tomorrow is your wedding)

His di was so happy planning the two weddings, resolutely ignoring the truth about Shyam. He put his arm around her and hugged her close. He had to keep her safe. And there was one more girl he had to keep absolutely safe. Khushi.


****

"mami ye haar payal bhabhi ke liye hai".. Anjali was desperately trying to get people to start getting dressed for the evening, but mami was causing a problem.

(this necklace is for Payal bhabhi)

"hello hi bye bye.. Anjali bitiya.. ", she might have had much more to say, but everything stopped as Lakshmiji leapt into the center of the living room. A panting, fat and tired buaji closely following. Right behind the two was a thin girl raising her lehenga with both hands to keep up.

"ee dekho nand kishore.. Humaar haar leke bhagi", buaji bellowed in her loud voice, trying to corner Lakshmiji who had a pouch hanging from her mouth. Since no one knew for certain what Lakshimiji really felt one could only make a wild guess that she had confused the green of the pouch with a more leafy sort of green.

(look at this.. she has run off with my necklace)

Round the center table Lakshmiji went, her bells jingling, buaji heaving herself right behind. "buaji.. Lakshmiji..", by now even Khushi was out of breath.

Before anyone knew it Lakshmiji had dropped the pouch onto mamiji's lap and picked up a more promising looking leafy green necklace instead. The leafy green were big sparkling emeralds and of no use whatsoever to Lakshmiji, but it would have been hard to explain that to her.

"maee".. she was about to dash off again, but ran out of luck this time.

Khushi had managed to corner the innocent necklace thief from the opposite side. She carefully extricated the necklace and handed it over to a grudgingly grateful mamiji. "ee miss call ke toh..", mamiji eyed Lakshmiji darkly.

(this missed call)

"hainn? miss call? Kaun ka miss call.. I did not hear anything nand kisore..", buaji turned her head on all sides trying to locate the ringing phone.

(missed call? who missed call?)

"arre buaji missed call humari Lakshmiji ka naam hai", Shyam had walked in, in a cream silk kurta all ready for the evening. Buaji ignored him, but Shyam still flashed his white teeth at everyone.

Khushi was in no mood to spend a second in his presence. He had done enough of damage. She knew she loved Arnavji, and she didn't know why Arnavji was marrying her.

Was she actually calmly thinking about being in love with Arnavji? With both her hands she held both sides of her head. "devi maiyya hum pagal ho re hai".. and stalked away, Lakshmiji following her like a little lamb.

(I am going crazy)

****

ASR had returned from jeweler and was now in his room, loosening his tie. Di had said they were already extremely late and everyone should go get dressed for the ceremony as guests would start arriving soon.

Wondering if he should take a chance at an angry wedding planner di, ASR was contemplating finding Khushi. She was here somewhere. All the Gupta family was here getting ready, but it was not because of this knowledge that he knew she was in Shantivan. He knew she was close because he could feel her.

A sudden burst of loud music caused him to look around at the unexpected interruption to his thoughts. Khushi's phone lay glowing on the floor. He walked over it. She had dropped it when she tripped earlier.

Om Prakash walked in with a cup of coffee. "OP where is Khushi?", ASR had made up his mind he wanted to see her and tell her.


Exactly what.. once he got their he would know.. The thought made his expression a little dreamy, softening the perfect features.

He made his way up the stairs to the roof top. OP was a highly reliable source of information about the whereabouts of everyone it seemed.

Mami had insisted on being in charge of todays decoration and that meant there was more than enough layers of highly fragrant roses everywhere. There were marigolds too and expensive orchids and who knew what else. A mish mash of loud colors. The air felt thick with the scent of flowers as ASR opened the door of the rooftop.

She was there, carefully kneeling and whispering in a goat's ear.

He had not made a sound, but she turned towards him. The smile that was on her lips, as she spoke to her beloved Laksmiji, considerably lessened seeing him.

She was wearing a bridal red lehenga, a vibrant pink dupatta covering her head. Even at her slightest movement the stars of the sky settled into the folds of the fabric and glimmered enticingly at him. She was beautiful.

A half forgotten memory of seeing her with a dupatta on her head wafted towards him. He had been compelled to turn back and look at her that day. Today he took a step forward towards her.

She waited, held captive by him, even though he was across the breath of the roof top.

"ye lo", he extended his arm out.


He was an idiot. He was here to talk about what he was feeling not waste time giving her a damn phone.. but prolonging the moment, watching her, savouring the feeling, held a strange fascination at this instant.

dhak dhak dhak.. was it his heartbeat again?

"I don't want it", she mumbled, her hand crumpling her lehenga. His eyes were arrested by the blush that had come creeping onto her cheeks. It was not the cold that brought the color to her cheeks. He himself was the sole reason for the lovely sight. Feeling quite proud at this accomplishment his lips tilted in a dashing smile.

"This is your phone Khushi", he sauntered close.

"humne kaha na humein aapse kuch nahi chahiye", she said resolute at her stand of not looking towards him.

(I told you I don't want anything from you)

Then with a surprising flash of energy her eyes captured his as she spoke firmly, "I don't want anything from you because all you feel is sorry for me".

His impatience stole over his indulgence, and his eyes glinted dangerously. "tum pagal ho gayi ho".

(You have gone crazy)

"nahin. aap.. aap humse shadi kar re hai because di told you or maybe because you.. I will not marry you just because of some plan.. you feel sorry for me.. Hum aapse shaadi nai kar sakte Arnavji"..

(no.. you.. you are marrying me because di told you.. I cannot marry you)

In an instant he understood what it was that she was hinting at. Did she really think that all these days it was all di or some philanthropic need of his to do good? Maybe she didn't know him at all.

"That's right. I forgot. If you stopped your nonsense for a minute and allowed yourself to open those beautiful eyes of yours even then you would miss the real thing", voice was laced with sarcasm.

His jaw was clenched, stunning angular lines visible on the prominent high cheekbones. He had swiftly caught her slender arms and jerked her close with a feline power.

Deep down she had wanted him to refute her claim that he was doing it for di. She wanted him to look at her tenderly and say he wanted the marriage to happen.

That was in her dream. In reality he was absolutely furious. She fought back even though her heart felt like it was shattering into tiny little shards each piercing some corner of her chest.

"humein kya nai dikh ra batyiye humein?", she demanded angrily. If he wanted to fight that is what she would do.

(what can't I see tell me?)

"that I love you dammit.." The words came hurtling out from within him leaving him dazed. The words remained suspended, sizzling the air between them.

Both were still for who knows how long. Might have been a second, felt like forever. Then he pushed her away, turned and strode off.

He did not look back to witness the slow awestruck smile spreading on her face.



He was not thinking. A rush of adrenaline and love pumping in his veins as he entered his room. Again a happy loud sound jarred its way into his conscious. Her phone was still clutched in his hands. His knuckles were white as his fist had tightened around it.

Another message. He glanced at the phone, mind caught up in the arresting beautiful face of the girl he loved.

It was a fact. He had known all along. He had known as she had struggled in his arms today and on their very first meeting. Had he known as he had lost control and ripped those pearls? Had he known when he had seen her in his office? Even when he had let go of her hand. When she stood before him in red. When he touched her face as she lay unconscious in his arms, fragile. When he had kept her payal. When he had made her wear it. He had known why he wanted to kiss her. He had known why he missed her. Even when he brought tears to her eyes. Specially when she made him angery. Why she made him insanely jealous. Why he felt ridiculously tender and outrageously happy around her. Why he danced with her. Why he wanted to be held by her.
He loved her. The feeling had stolen over him, gradually claiming him. Now consuming him. He loved Khushi. It made him happy.

A calm settled into his heart lighting everything inside him. She made him happy.

It was then his eyes focused on the words on the phone screen. ASR's eyes darkened.. A lethal glint in them..

It was a message from Shyam... on Khushi's phone..

"Plan worked.. Chatt par aake miliye humein khushiji"


******

arshi SS: Hamesha ~ a heartbeat away, chapter 17

Had written this around new year

http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=4119969&TPN=109&#p118003315

Chapter 17

A thick fog covered everything as far as the eyes could see. The rain from the day before had caused the temperature to drop sharply. Cutting through the mist a lithe agile figure sprinted through. Arnav Singh Raizada was out on his customary five mile run, a habit that he had developed during his years at Howard School of Business.

For the past five years every morning he had woken up early and head out. He used the time to plan out his day or tackle some exceptionally tricky problem. He liked to stay fit too. Swift and alert, the body, the mind, and the man himself.

Today, his entire concentration was on the pain. He let his ma's scream infiltrate each and every pore. His di's smile clouded his vision. The shehnai rang deafening his ears.

Over time he had grown adept at pushing back the memories until they remained simply a constant reminder of the unfairness and cruelty of life.

The bitter cold wind lashed across his face. He had broken into a sweat.

Shyam Manohar Jha... had meant to cheat on di. The man she worshipped was a two timing.. Lying.. ASR's thoughts came all jumbled. Sharp stabs of memories..The man he had grown to respect. his jeejajji.. Who fawned over his di.. Around whom his astute nani, his shrewd mami all fawned.

Blind. ASR had been blind. Just like he had been blind at fourteen. He had to protect di, but what all exactly was he protecting her from? Would Shyam be foolish enough to have the audacity to pursue the thought of a future with khushi? The thought enraged ASR. He was furious.

Only the steady rhtym of limbs controlled him from reaching that despicable man. He willed himself to think. Was this the only form of betrayal that Shyam had commited?

ASR was not surprised at this thought. Long back he had learnt to rely on his instincts and something inside him was certain that Shyam was upto no good.

Uncharacteristically out of breth ASR waslked in through the front door of Shantivan.


****


Akash's regular pleasant slightly muddled smile was replaced with a perturbed expression. When he saw his bhai enter, he used his forefinger to push his glasses higher up on the bridge of his nose, and stood up. Payal had told him all about his jeejaji...

Akash was used to thinking well of the world. Payal had insisted this was not some horrible misunderstanding, as if one could misunderstand something this bizzare! Akash had felt vaguely stupid even asking Payal if she was sure, but still asked. After all this was jeejaji. The man who had lived with them for the last three years.

The thought that his jeejaji had been ready to cheat on di disturbed Akash immensely. And poor Khushiji dragged into this mess.

Had bhai spoken to di?

He had a lot of questions for ASR. Milder versions mostly of what ASR had already obsessively gone over in his head since last night.

The irony was not lost upon Akash. As kids ASR, he and NK had played hours imagining themselves as detectives. Only this time there was no happy ending to the detective story. Their di was bound to have her heart broken whatever was revealed.

Unlike what people generally thought of ASR Akash knew his bhai enough to not be surprised that Shyam was still in the house. There would be a logical reason he surmised.

There was. As ASR recounted everything it took Akash a while to take in the lies jeejaji had fed di. How could someone lie so brazenly, he wondered.

"Akash I cannot stand the thought of having Shyam anywhere near di. It is driving me insane lekin di.." ASR was sitting on the sofa in Akash's room, his knees apart, head bent over, body held lose.

(but di..)

"Bhai we can't throw the man out if di won't believe us. It will only makethings more difficult for di. Aap jante hai bhai", Akash cautioned.

(you know bhai)

"I know. However there are other things that I can do. That are already getting done". ASR raised his head, a ruthless glint in his eyes.

Akash was familiar with this expression. It didn't come often, but it had been visible before on the cool rugged face of his cousin.The last time bhai had looked this way was when he had made the plan to buy Sheesh Mahal.


****

"Hai re nand kisore. Jisko jaun mann hai taun karo. Go tell everyone about Shyam. Sirf damaadji logan ko kyu bahar barmda mein khare huike chilai diyo nandkisore."

(do what you feel like doing. Why only our son-in-laws go stand outside and shout it out to the world)

Khushi Kumari Gupta flung away the covers, listening groggily to the racket outside. What was buaji shouting about?

She idly considered getting up from bed. Then deciding it was too cold to get up right now she put back the bright fuchsia rajasthani blanket over her head and snuggled inside warm.

She had barely slept last night. Arnavji had dropped her home himself, having refused to allow her to ride back on the scooter in the middle of the night. As if something would happen to her.. as if she could not take care of herself.. as if she needed him..


devi maiyya.. the only reason i let him drop me was because.. She stopped. Then pulled the blanket more securely over her head. In the makeshift darkness, sure that no one would be able to listen in on her thoughts she continued.. I wanted to spend some more time with him. I didn't want the night to end.

All night long she had tossed and turned drifting between flashes of a pair of the most captivating stormy eyes and a shirtless Arnavji who glistened in the moonlight.

Even inside the blanket Khushi blushed a deep shade of red. hey devi maiyya..what all was she thinking.. It was not like she hadn't seen a man without a shirt before. Salmanji was famous for not wearing a shirt, but she hardly blushed thinking of that. This time she clenched her eyes shut willing the thoughts to go away.

Buaji was still in conniption over something. As her words wafted to Khushi she sat up in bed. Looked like her family now knew that the Raizada brothers knew the truth that the Gupta family knew about Shyamji. It was as complicated a sentence to think of as to read and Khushi closed her eyes pressing her fingers to her forehead. Not enough sleep, distracting laad governors and complicated sentences were a terrible combination.

She wandered out of her room lazily, stifling a yawn and surveyed her living room. Buaji was in full form having worked herself into a fit. Her favourite piece of red towel was tightly bound across her forehead and her long luscious plait swung boisterously as she spoke.

Khushi went and sat down next to her amma. Garima gave her a fond smile as Payal spoke up. "buaji we had to tell Akash and Arnavji".

Before her sister-in-law could get in another never ending stream of words Garima spoke up. "jiji achcha hi hua these girls told them everything. Now we don't need to worry".

(it's a good thing)

Khushi squeezed her amma's hand tightly then went to kneel near her babuji who seemed to be smiling. "babuji aap bhi yehi kehte na humein? To tell the truth and then face whatever be the consequences? I am very worried for di.." She paused undecidedly then added softly, "and Arnavji. Both trusted Shyamji".

(you would have told us the same thing right?)

She was startled to see a flash of pain shoot through babuji's eyes. He was shaking his head in an uncontrolled way. What did he want to say? In a strong voice she tried to calm him, "babuji aap mat fikr kijiye. Arnavji will take care of everything. Humein bharosa hain".

(don't worry at all. I have absolute faith that Arnavji will take care ofe everything)

Babuji slowly calmed down, but the overall air in the Gupta household was filled with a sudden sadness. The head of the family, with his wise words, had not spoken for many months now. The doctors had assured them that Shashi Gupta was getting better, but everyone still missed his kind intelligent and affectionate ways.

Suddenly the silence was broken by a loud sniff. Buaji launched herself at Khushi. "sanka devi humka maaf kari diyo. Oo Shyam babua ko hum pehechane naahi. What would have happened if you didn't find out on time".

(please forgive me. I didn't recognize Shyam babua's true colors)

Khushi extricated herself out of buaji large heavy embrace. "hum aapko ek shart par maaf karenge buaji. You have to make me pooris for breakfast, lunch and dinner today".

(I'll forgive you only if..)



After having completed a rather heavy, but definitely mouthwatering breakfast of pooris, Khushi was giggling with Payal, buaji hovering close by as they put out the jars of mango, lime and chilli pickles out in the sun, when Happyji walked upto them and announced, "Khushiji I just wanted to let you know damaadji ke driver ne aaj subah hi humara scooter lauta diya. There was no hurry really, itni takleef kyu ki?"

(today morning itself returned my scooter. Why did you bother?)

Khushi rolled her eyes in despair.. devi maiya why did such things have to happen to her?.. Buaji had already started her interrogation. How in the world was khushi going to get out of this?



A pair of eyes followed the antics of the excited girl from far. They took in her pleading, laughing, happy dancing.

Shyam Manohar Jha in his unassuming brown and white checked plaid shirt had merged with the passing crowd. The only difference from the milleu in Lakshminagar was in his expressions. He was hypnotized by the girl, but his mouth was pulled back into a viscous snarl and a hard to miss depravity was visible in his eyes.

Khushiji had slapped him. And Arnav had dared lay his hands on Shyam's collar. With satisfaction Shyam recollected how he had got the last laugh. His simpering fool of a blind wife had believed his story over her chote's allegations.

Luckily for Shyam he had been right here and had overheard Khushi and Payal talking about revealing his secret to the Raizada's that morning.

Of course he planned to kill off rani sahiba, it was just taking a little longer than anticipated. So, he had planned for a back up. An invaluable highly rewarding inspiring idea really! ASR would not touch him as long as Anjali believed Shyam's story. And by the time she doubted him she would very well be taking her very last breath.


****


The shantivan household had just finished with lunch. In her peacock blue net saree with her favourite set of bangles Anjali looked elegant and fresh from far. However, up close the dark circles under her eyes told a different tale. She was trying to concentrate on cutting the nimki in perfect diamond shapes for Om Prakashji to fry later. Her mind kept insisting on remembering her chote's angry accusations.

She knew he was mistaken, but what she couldn't quite figure out was how could be make such a mistake. She did not doubt even the slightest how sincere he was in wanting to ensure what was best for her. And yet what he said could not be true.

Frustrated she put down the knife and was about to get up when Shyamji walked upto her. He looked annoyed.

"Rani sahiba I had cut a cheque from our joint account for some case related stuff and the bank says it got declined", he was scowling.

"Ha Shyamji, chote told me that there was some problem with my account so I should directly call Aman and get any money I needed for the next few days. Aap abhi ke liye apne account se check de dijiye? Thik hai na?"

(Use your own account for now. is that okay?)

Shyam only looked more ill tempered hearing this. Without replying he was walking away when she called out.

"Shyamji sorry about this confusion. Aap ja kaha rahe hai? You were gone in the morning as well. Tonight we all will be meeting the Gupta family, aapko yaad hai na?"

(where are you going?)

"Humein kaam rehta hai ranisahiba aap nai samjhengi". Though his words were civil enough something in his tone hurt Anjali.

(I have work to do, you won't understand)

Why did he always assume she would not understand about work? It is not like she knew nothing about working hard. When chote had been setting up AR industries she had seen him work day and night. However busy chote would be, if she asked, he had always tried to explain to Anjali what were the problem AR industries was facing. She missed feeling part of all this.

When had her life become entirely about Shantivan food menus, never ending trips to the mandir and waiting for the her husband to return home?


****


"Khushi Arnavji ki amma ki churiyan kitni sundar lag rahi hai tumhare haatho mein. Tumhe yaad hai jab Lavanyaji was angry with Arnavji you had sold your amma's gold bangles apne plan ke chakkar mein. Aaj dekho again your hands have bangles from your amma. Sab achche ke liye hota hai.. hai na?"

(Arnavji's mothers bangle look so pretty on your hands. You remember when Lavanya ji was angry with Arnavji you had sold the bangles for your plan. Everything happens for the good, isn't it?)

Khushi looked at the bangles in her hand and happily shook her hand enjoying the sound they made.

Then with a mischievous grin she put her hands on Payal's shoulder and swung her around to face the mirror in their room.

"Look at your gold bangles jiji. Hello hi bye bye khoon bhari taang ke gold bhare haath". She had managed an uncanny imitation of mamiji complete with the accent and mamiji own form of strutting around.


"ha wo.. Akash took me to the jeweller and we managed to get the size corrected. Lekin Khushi kisiko bolna nai.. warna maaji.."

(don't tell anyone.. )

"Akashji nahi akash.." Khushi sang out giggling.. Then with an exaggerated sigh she swayed and fell on the bed.. "akaaash.."

Payal was also giggling helplessly. "chup kar Khushi", she half heartedly admonished her sister.

(keep quiet)

Khushi was already lost in the feel of the dupatta in her hand. It had intricate gold detailing all over the shaded pink and orange dupatta. The edges had embroidery. Similar embroidered motifs were scattered all over the dupatta.

She put it over her head. A bride. Khushi Kumari Gupta..

How did one see through such a heavy fabric? She pulled the dupatta over her head as a ghunghat. Her vision was definitely obscured, but every sensation felt heightened. dhak dhak dhak.. She was a bride in a ghunghat.

"jeeji isse dekh kaise sakte hai?", she asked anxiously. Getting no answer she turned in a hurry, bumped into the edge of the bed, tripping forward.

As she fell she felt a pair of strong warm arms encase her, as both she and the owner of those arms went sprawling onto the bed.

She lay dazed, dupatta still on her head. He then moved slightly below her. A giveaway heat coursed all over as she realized what had happened. She had fallen on Arnavji!

"Khushi?", he gave a low moan.

She shifted nervously then stilled as he lifted the dupatta covering her face. Arnavji's face was inches from her, his arm comfortably around her waist.

"Now is as good a time as any to tell me tum kar kya rahi ho?"

(what are you doing?)

"hum.. kuch bhi toh nai..", she decided there was no way she was going to tell him she was trying to figure out how one saw through a ghunghat.

"You can sell your amma's bangles for me and not tell me this?", his voice was reproachful, but there was infinite warmth in those eyes. He had heard jiji talk about the bangles..

"You heard?".. How long had he been listening to their conversation for?

He simply nodded before his jaw hardened, "pagal ho gayi thi tum? Apni ma ki churi tumne mere liye bech di? Kyu Khushi?"

(Had you gone crazy? You sold your amma's bangles for me? why?)

She raised her chin full of defiance. "Meri amma ki churi. Main rakhu ya kisiko de dun aapko usse kya?"

(They are my mother's bangles. Whether I keep them or give them away why do you care?)

Her breath had hitched. "Apko kyu farak parta hai Arnavji?" . There was a quiver in the yearning in her question.

(why does it matter to you?)

He didn't move, nor did he let her get up from the bed. She blushed at their scandalous position.

"Why don't you first tell me tum kya kar ri thi?"

(what were you doing?)


Hmpph.. Laad governor.. Always trying to come out better in a deal..

"hum.. hum aapko nai bata sakte hai Arnavji. Let me go", she wriggled. His hold around her waist only got stronger.

(I..I can't tell you)

Those bangles meant the world to her, but his happiness. It was vital. That was so long ago. When there was Lavanyaji..

A surprising flash of possessiveness exploded within her. He is mine.. And I am his.. Without conscious thought she snuggled closer to him.

She could not quite recall if they were talking about the bangales, or her ghunghat or about farak parna and why. She was hopelessly distracted by the intimacy of their fall.

"darling did I not tell you this yesterday? Tum mujhe kuch bhi bata sakti ho. Tumhara hone wala pati jo hun..", if possibly she felt herself go redder..dhak dhak dhak.. Her heartbeat was so loud, even then she had clearly heard his words.

(You can tell me anything. I am after all your would be husband)

And when had he started calling her.. She swallowed hard.. darling.. hey devi maiyya.. She felt light headed and in near panic.


"Arnavji koi.. koi aa jayega", she exclaimed.

(someone will come)

"aane do", was his reply. Khushi felt herself shiver at his words.

"par di..", she tried again, a little less persuasive this time.

"Payal is with Akash outside. Aunty, uncle, buaji with nani and mami are also outside", he answered calmly, his voice shaking with suppressed amusement at her panicked state.

"The faster you tell me, the faster I might think of letting you go, you know?", his eyes glittered with mischief and other things that Khushi could not really name.

"If you are shy to say it out loud, want to whisper in my ears"? A smirk followed.

She gave up struggling. "I was trying to see ki ghunghat pehen ke dikhta kaise hai? Ab choriye humein", she disentangled herself from him and pushed herself up. He sat up too, much more slowly.

(How do you see through the veil. now leave me)

Both sat close to each other, at the every edge of the bed. "besharm.. Laad governor..", she mumbled darkly, but made no further move of walking away.

Her legs felt unsteady and the acidity attack was much stronger than usual. Standing up would not be such a good idea right now.

"umm Khushi bhabhi.. Chote.. humne kuch nai dekhe.. ". They looked around to see Anajli hovering near the door, her hand covering her eyes. She withdrew hastily closing the door behind her.

(I didn't see anything)

Khushi wanted to jump inside the blanket and cover herself, maybe splash some ice water on her inflamed cheeks.

That.. that laad governor was still smiling.. What would di think? Sitting on the bed.. So close.. in her room.. alone..

She glared at him and got up from the bed, only to be smoothly pulled back by him. She landed onto his chest and they went sprawling on the bed again.

"Well ab jab di ne humein dekh hi liya hai then might as well make a little good use of this time", he chuckled.

(Now that di has seen us)

"So where were we?" With a self assured air he leant forward and captured her lips in his, confident that she wanted the kiss as much as him. She did want the kiss as much as him.

arshi SS: Hamesha ~ a heartbeat away, chapter 16

Another year about to pass with ASR and Khushi safely tucked in my heart.

This chapter is dedicated to rk2127. Thank you for your wonderful thoughts.



Chapter 16

The rain continued to pour down heavily, fogging the glass. Inside the SUV, in the little ambient light that shone, Khushi Kumari Gupta stared in shock at Arnav Singh Raizada.

"shaadhi? Marry now? Arnavji we can't marry now. Nobody else is here..."

"Shut up Khushi". His face was inches away from hers. Breath still hot and unsteady from the heady kiss they had shared. In a languorous movement he moved back straightening himself.

"I did not say.. now.. Waise agar tum chahti ho toh we could head back to your temple aaj hi. From my limited knowledge about your shaadi nonsense it requires just two people.. the bride and the groom.."

(If you wish we could head back to the temple today itself)

The violence inside him, which had been clearly visible in his stormy eyes, had dissipated somewhere within the last few minutes. She could not bear to see him torn and in agony as he had clearly been. She knew she had to play along, if only to stop that tormented look to return.

"Haw", she exclaimed in indignation.

He gave a wry smile. Then using the back of his two fingers he trailed the contour of her face from her cheekbone down to the tip of her chin. He had grown weary.

The rain had stopped as abruptly as it had started. In the still silence she could hear her heart beating against her chest. She saw his adam's apple move down. They sat this way, he stroking her skin, she feeling his fingers against her cheek.

In a fierce voice, the words rushed out of him, "I don't know how many goddamn hours I spent tonight scorning the idea of marriage. Ma.. Di.. Deceit sweeps in and devours innocent pure lives.. I was burning in hell Khushi when I reached here, determined to take you home and rid your head of this stupid idea of marriage.. And then I realized I couldn't bear tears in your eyes.. "

"ye kya kar diya tumne mere sath khushi"? .. He slumped against his seat, his head flung backwards staring out of the moon roof. The hood had always been closed, Khushi never knew she could she the sky above her right from inside his car.

(what have you done to me?)

"shukriya Arnavji.. aap nai aate toh..", she whispered, her voice breaking again.

With his head still resting on the seat headrest he turned sideways facing her. A slight smile played across his lips as he said, "aana toh tha hi".

She smiled back.

Did caring for someone make you feel all grown up from inside? devi maiyya.. he came.. He was here in front of her.. strangely she felt fiercely protective towards him and at the same time wanted to hide in his arms and feel safe.

"Khushi stop talking to yourself..", his voice startled Khushi out of her conversation with devi maiyya. Her spirits plummeted when she realized they had reached right in front of her house. The lights were dim, but the house was not completely in darkness. She wondered who was awake waiting for her. Even then, she did not want to leave Arnavji.

There was so much she wanted to ask him. What would he tell di? Had he already spoken to her? Was she okay? Was he?.. Devi maiyya ghar itni jaldi kyu aa gaya..

He had walked upto her side and opened her door. She remained seated, desperate wishing to stay a minute longer with him. How could she be away from him?

He seemed to read her mind expertly figuring out the cause of her hesitation. "Khushi .. I am fine. mujhe di ko sab batana hoga.. tum ghar jao". His jaw was set firm, a determined look. He had honed a warrior stance, every muscle alert.

(I need to tell di everything. You go home)

She got out of the SUV slowly and walked a few steps past him. Quickly she turned and lifted her right hand waving. "bye Arnavji".

He strode towards her and caught her wrist, spreading out the palm that had in dark crimson the word, 'Arnav'. With his thumb, treading lightly, perhaps afraid it would get wiped away, he traced the letters. Then picking up her other hand, which still clutched his ma's letter, he stared unblinking at the initials, "K G R".

He bent down and kissed her palm. She could feel his lips tremble for an instant against her cold skin. Then in a flash he was gone .

Khushi walked up to the front door. Payal opened the door even before Khushi could knock.

Payal was back to her comfortable cotton lime kurti. Her hair was in a loose plait and not a inkling of sleep apparent. She anxiously took in Khushi's still quite wet hair, but refrained to ask questions where there was even the remotest possibility of buaji waking up.

The two sisters made there way to their room. Khushi walked right upto the drawer and pulled out the small trinket box, where she carefully placed the folded sheet of paper. Along with a leaf, a glittering sequin was now ma's letter to her daughter-in-law.

Silently, deep in thought she changed out of her lehenga. It had been a whirlwind of a day. Khushi had never thought it was possible to even experience so many different emotions at one time. Then again, from the night she had met Arnav Singh Raizada, her life had never really been the same.

She was never certain of what would come next. Would he be angry or caring? Would he shout at her or whirl her in a dance? She did not know. What she knew unquestionably was that she was certain of one thing. She wanted him in her life. Badly.

Picking up her devi maiyya she fervently prayed for Arnavji and di. In the morning, before the chaos of the mehendi had started, Khushi had placed the new red chunari on the idol. She had put the jari border on the chunari herself. Devi maiyya appeared to look back at Khushi kindly.

All she wanted to do was succumb to the overpowering need to sleep. Her eyes were closing, but there were still things to do. Arnavji, right now, might be telling di everything, Khushi needed to tell her jiji too. She turned too Payal who was putting up their pink mosquito net.

"Jiji I told Arnavji everything about Shyamji . You should also tell jeejaji everything".



****


The numerous lights in the Shantivan hall were all dimmed when ASR walked in. The furniture was still lined against the walls leaving the center space open.

"Di kaha hai?", he asked Om Prakash, who had opened the door.

(Where is di?)

"Apne kamre mein hongi Anjali di", OP could sense ASR's moods. And this particular one was one to fear.

(She should be in her room)

Without wasting another second ASR sprinted up the stairs to his di's room. He was not the one to rehearse what he would say. ASR thrived on action. Di needed to know the truth and then they would deal with the repercussions together.

"di..", ASR burst into her room. Only she was not there. Shyam Manohar Jha stood before him, still in his heavily embroidered too red kurta.

"saale saab aap yaha? This late at night. Is everything all right?"

(you here?)

"Mujhe sab pata chal gaya hai.. Jeejaji". ASR spat the last word out and reached out for Shyam's collar.

(I have come to know everything)

Shyam winced at the iron grip, his mind ticking furiously.

His already large eyes turned bigger as he spoke. The words were not of apology and the tone steadily grew in condescension.

"I have no idea what you are talking about saalesaab. We can surely discuss whatever is the matter in a sane fashion. Aise dimag garam karne se kuch hasil nahi hota saalesaab, humne aapko kitni baar ye baat samajhai hai".

(With a hothead you will not gain anything, have I not explained this to you innumerable times?)

ASR shook him vigorously, his eyes ablaze with fury. He could not believe how he had let himself be taken in by this swine. Through gritted teeth he warned, "Stay away from my di.. Shyam.. Don't you dare.."

"chote.." , Anjali had walked into the room with the latest pile of ironed clothes. She let go of the pile, stunned to see chote and Shyamji clearly in a fight. She had also heard his words. Chote threatening Shyamji..

ASR let go of Shyam. His anger replaced by worry. He strode over to Anjali.

His voice reverberated with sincerity and concern, "di jeeja.. shyam betrayed you. All this time he has been lying to you. Jhooth bola usne aapse.. Hum sab se. He posed as buaji's paying guest. He is the one Khushi was engaged to. This lying deceitful son of.."

(he lied to you.. to all of us)

"bas karo Arnav..", her words pounded in ASR's ears. He reeled. Di never ever called him Arnav. Never.

(Stop it)

"di aap samajh nai rahi hai.. He kept his marriage a secret.. He..", ASR spoke softly, almost beseeching his angry di to understand.

(You are not understanding)

"tum nai samajh reh Arnav", her voice cut in, face harsh.

(You aren't understanding)

"di aap aise kyu keh rahi hai? And why are you calling me Arnav. I know this is a shock to you, but..", he had taken her hand, but she jerked away.

(Why are you saying such things?)

She moved to Shyam, her limp very pronounced, who extended his hand and caught her. ASR had not anticipated hostility. Neither had he even remotely considered the possibility of di denying to believe him. He tried to absorb what was happening, an helpless overpowering him, which would only intensify after hearing Anjali's coming declaration.

"Tumhe galat lagta hai Arnav. Humare Shyamji humse kuch nai chupate hai. If you would have given him a chance to explain he would have, par apne gusse ke samne tum khud ko kho dete ho".

(You think wrong. My Shyamji does not hide anything from me.. In front of your anger you lose yourself)

What the hell was di talking about! ASR eyed Shyam with disgust, but held his tongue. Di was already angry enough. His gut feeling now clearly registered this man was up to no good, but he had to tread with extreme caution.

"Shyamji has been feeling awful about it. So he finally told me everything, and bhagwan ka laakh laakh sukhr hai he did nai toh pata nahi aaj kya ho jata, if I would have believed you".

(Thank god he did otherwise who knows what would have happened today)

ASR did not like this feeling of grasping in the dark, unsure of what it was he was supposed to find in the first place. His di couldn't have forgiven adultery. Or could she?

"di aap use maaf kaise kar sakti hai? You were his wife, all these months. And he.. decided to make a play at Khushi..", his voice broke, a hollow ringing as he said her name. the feelings came crashing. di.. Khushi.. In repeat the names kept playing in his mind. This man had wronged both and di was about to forgive him? How was that possible?

(How can you forgive him?)

"Bahut hua Arnav..", she rebuked sharply. di had lifted her hand, putting a stop to his words.

"How can you say such things about this decent man.. Humare pati hai ye.. You are delusional.. He and Khushi bhabhi.. For a case he needed to investigate a suspect in lakshminagar. So he stayed as a paying guest in buaji's house. Us samay ye nahi jaante the ki Khushiji hi hai wo jo humare ghar aati hai Lavanyaji ko seekhane. Buaji ko laga Shyamji should marry Khushi bhabhi and it was all a confusion. He did not want to blow his cover, Khushi bhabhi ke babuji ki tabyat kharab ho gayi.. He did not want to say no and increase the family's woes. You know the rest.. Remember how upset Khushi bhabhi was with her engagement? And then it all broke.. Because Shyamji broke it. He is very sorry about all the confusion and I have forgiven him."

(He is my husband. At that time he did not know Khushiji was the same girl who used to come to our house to teach Lavanyaji. Buaji thought Shyamji should marry Khushi bhabhi. Her father's health took a worse turn..)

ASR could not believe the audacity of Shyam. To cook up such baseless senseless lies. For a second he felt exasperated with his di, how could she believe this crazy story?

He saw Shyam's smug face. "di meri baat suniye.. Why would he have kept quiet for so long agar yehi sach hota toh?", he knew the words were useless.

(listen to me.. why would he have kept quiet for so long if this was the truth?)

"Why did the Gupta family keep quiet? It was no one's fault. It was an embarrassing mistake. Bas. I know you are worried about me, but there is nothing to worry about", she had calmed down a little.

"par dii..", there was nothing he could say at this moment that would make even the slightest difference.

(but dii)

"chote hum thik hai", this time she was gentle.

(I am fine)

"apna khayal rakhna di. And I am always there", he turned around, striding out of the room.

(take care of yourself)



****

Utterly vexed at the incredible nonsense that Shyam had fed di ASR unbuttoned his waistcoat and flung it onto the bed. His jet black shirt followed. Freeing the ends of the shirt from his trousers, he tossed it in the same direction.

Shyam was still in this house. Sprouting lies that di blindly believed. ASR had to make sure he dare not hurt her.

His mind was working furiously. How was he going to protect his di from this? He took out his blackberry from his pocket and dialed a number that was ingrained in his muscle memory. "Aman I need you to do this.."

He was deep in conversation with Aman, when his phone beeped against his ear. He would have ignored it, but out of instinct he checked. It was Khushi.

He would call her back, he decided. However, within seconds her number flashed up as waiting again. This time he did cut the call with Aman. Aman had been handed out precise instructions, and ASR was certain it would get done.

He answered her call. "Haloo", came a whisper from the other end. Almost in wonder ASR could feel the weight fall of his bare shoulders. He shook his head, how could just her voice, that too from across a phone, make him feel rejuvenated.

"sab so re hai.. Is that why you are whispering darling?", even at his moment, he felt flippant. He wanted to see the blush slowly spread over her cheeks. Maybe he would take out his SUV and drive upto her house.

(everyone's asleep)

"umm .. wo..", she was clearly tongue tied.

He grew serious gradually. She did not usually call him this late. Was everything okay?

"Tell me Khushi.."

She mumbled something which he had a hard time understanding.. Wait.. What the? Had she just said she was outside Shantivan?

He dashed to the front door and opened it. She was there peering cautiously. In her green kurti, her hair in a tight plait, resplendent in the moonlight. She had her multicolor jhola slung across her shoulder.

"What the?! How did you get here?".

She did not say a word, her nose had grown red and she was avoiding looking at him. What was wrong with this girl? First she had managed to come to him in the middle of the night and then she was not even looking at him.

A midnight rendezvous with khushi Kumari Gupta! This girl did the most outrageous things.

"khushi what happened? Why are you here and why are you staring at that rose bush?"

"aap.. aap ne shirt nai pehni hai Arnavji", she gulped, and meekly replied. If possible her cheek had grown darker, almost radiating heat. She bit her lower lip nervously.

He smirked. His voice dropped to ragged murmur, "You can stop trying not to look at me. In fact you can stare at me all you want". It had hardly seemed possible, but his tone went huskier, "hone wala pati jo hun.. samjhi tum?"

(am your future husband.. understood)

Her hand fisted her dupatta, eyes refusing to leave the floor.

Barely concealing his laughter he ordered in the most intimate whisper, "Come.."


She followed him to his room. Did the laad governor frequently walk around without a shirt and open doors that way too? Besharm.. She thought angrily.. but butterflies inside her fluttered around quite non-angrily...

He shrugged into a sweat shirt. She liked him in his home clothes she decided. The new found voice inside her, that seemed to have a lot to say where Arnavji was concerned, sternly reminded her she liked him in office clothes as well.

"You wanted to talk khushi?", he inquired.

"I was worried for you. Aapne di ko bataya? Wo thik hai Arnavji?", she looked at him anxiously, sensing the change that came over him hearing the question.

(did you tell di? Is she okay?)

He walked to the french window and sat down on the single step that led out to the poolside. She sat down next to him.

"di did not believe me Khushi. Shyam ne unhe pehle hi jhooth mein uljha diya hai. I.. I am helpless". ASR was not used to sharing his problems with anyone. Saying the words out loud gave them credence, but he knew Khushi deserved an explanation of what was happening.

(Shyam had already filled her head with lies)

"Laad governor and helpless.. Ye ho nahi sakta Arnavji.. You will find a way.. Humein bharosa hai..", her clear innocent eyes had a bright glow in them. Her voice was firm. She looked at him as if he was invincible.

(This won't happen Arnavji.. I have faith in you)

He longed to believe in her confidence. He regarded her with wonder. She could be so much fun, carefree one minute and then act in the most mature manner in the very next.

With full concentration she fished about inside her bag and withdrew a round steel tiffin box. Opening it revealed the expected.

"When I am worried I like to eat jalebi Arnavji", she explained, taking a huge bite.

He swiftly pulled her close and laid a kiss on her forehead, "You will have your dreams come true. Even if it is the only thing I do".

She looked at him and smiled, beautiful and serene. Then held out a jilebi to him. In a conspiratorial whisper she said, "You can take a small bite. This has sugar, but take a small bite jaldi.."

(quickly)

He nibbled at the jilebi she had held out and continued to watch her stuff the remaining in her mouth.

A thought struck him. "how did you get here Khushi?"

She beamed at him. "I borrowed Happyji's isscooter"..

He burst out laughing and she rushed in panic to place her hand on his mouth in an attempt to muffle the sound.. Laad governor.. What if someone woke up and found them.. hey devi maiya..