arshi SS : Hamesha ~ A heartbeat away, Chapter 25

Chapter 25

It was one of those rare moments when Arnav Singh Raizada was simply sitting. A laptop was not open in front of him. Neither was his bluetooth attached to his ear. His books lay neatly arranged in alphabetical order on the distant bookshelves. Even the bright green watering can remained by the rose bush, not in use.

ASR did not believe in wasting time resting or in idle chatter. He throbbed with life. Even if his physical body was in one place, his sharp mind would constantly be solving problems, coming up with ideas. His mind would be categorizing, delegating, making sure everything went perfectly as planned.

Soft waves lapped in the shallow pristine blue waters of the pool. A rhythmic gurgle could be heard as the water gently dashed against the walls of its confinement.

ASR’s eyes were a much darker startling pool of untold mysteries. They segued from turbulent storms to heavy downpour. Until, with a sigh he closed his eyes.

In his characteristic gesture he swallowed. He tilted his head upwards. The blinding brightness of the afternoon rays, even across closed eyelids, was apparent. The heat of the sun on his face felt good. Gradually his breathing calmed. The tension in his muscles started to recede..

Di was fine..

He recollected the scene from an hour ago..

“tumne suna chote? Tum mama bannane wale ho..”

(Did you hear? You are going to be an uncle)

Di had this increduluos look on her face, as if this wasn’t something that had truly sunk in yet.

He himself had heard the words and groped around in the dark. This was uncharted territory. All he knew about kids was that nani and mami had a habit of teasing di about them. That scoundrel of a Shyam would simper while di would blush and giggle in reply.

ASR was always safe behind his newspaper, with no intention of being part of such conversations. He did remain vigilant enough to step in if ever di appeared distressed. Thankfully he had never really needed to be part of such weird conversations because di had always been happy. But that was before..

What was he supposed to say? How was he to react? His di.. A mother? Arnav Singh Raizada.. mama?

“chote…”, di had cuppsed his face and broken into a wide smile. He had no doubts her eyes were sparkling.

“I am very sorry I went with..”, her voice shook a little and eyes clouded for a minute, but she went on. “I went with Shyamji because I hoped for some kind of miracle. Now look.. Ma sent us a miracle.. my very own miracle.. I am not alone.. my child..”

Her eyes were shining again, crinkling at the edges.

For a second ASR felt a stab of worry. Would di take this as an excuse to hide from the facts? The fact that the man she had married was a cheat and worse. Shyam was greedy, dangerous and remorseless.

“di main hoon. I will always be with you. Aap akeli nai ho..” He placed his own shaking hands firmly on top of hers.

(I am there. you are not alone)

She was nodding. “Hum jante hai. That is why I am not afraid for my child. Tum ho..”

(I know.. you are there.)

She removed her hands from his cheeks and lovingly caressed the curve of her belly. “I still can’t believe it. Tumhe pata hai I have had so many plans for her..”

(you know..)

Her?

Di giggled, sounding almost eighteen again. “Don’t look at me that way..Obviously I don’t know for sure lekin humein hamesha se beti chahiye thi. Even Shyamji..”

(I always wanted a daughter)

Her voice trailed away. Her gaze landed on the walls lined with photo frames. “Ask Om prakashji to take these away. Instead I will line the walls with disney princesses.”

She laughed. ASR was having a hard time deciding if di was genuinely okay.

“And now lets concentrate on the weddings..”, she made a movement to rise from the bed.

ASR panicked. “di maybe you need to rest a little. The wedding..”

“has to happen exactly as planned. And of course I don’t need to rest. The more active I am the better for my baby. And you can starting reading up on all this, because I am going to be asking Khushi bhabhi for a playmate soon.”

She laughed when she saw his alarmed expression. Then quickly sobered down.

“Pata hai chote there were moments today when I was almost ready to give up on life. Ma.. ko bhi aisa laga hoga na? we will never know..”

(ma .. must have felt the same)

She wiped away a teardrop from the corner of her eyes. He felt his jaw clench and had to blink a few times.

“di aap aise kyu keh reh ho?”, his voice was hoarse laced with pain.

(why are you saying such things?)

“because you were always right chote”, came her reply. “We should always face facts. Chote, ma gave up on living, but we have each other and now Khushi bhabhi.. my baby”. Her teeth were visible again as she grinned.

“there is nani, mami..oh everyone.. So there is a million reasons to live, but most importantly ma always believed in goodness and love. We can’t give up on that. Agar hum pyar mein vishwas nahi karenge toh unki zindagi yuhi zaaya ho gayi. Promise me we won’t let that happen”.

(if we don’t believe in love then her life was futile)

He had never known di to be this strong. Maybe she really was all right. The strangest realization hit him. He felt like laughing.. He was actually terribly relieved she was still talking about love. He had never thought he would be thankful about her crazy ideas of love.

She seemed to have noticed the slight drag of his lip and caught on. An excitement was clearly visible in her. “Ab hato chote. Let me go find Khushi and Payal bhabhi. Waise you have to admit you have been quite boring to be with all these years. Ab Khushi bhabhi aake tumhe thora kam ukhda ukhda bana de to meri sari mushkile khatam.”

(now move away.. now if Khushi bhabhi comes and makes you less cynical and sour all my troubles are gone)

He had let himself break into a smile then. This di he knew. This teasing, sprightly, slightly condescending di made him feel normal.
ASR opened his eyes as the sound of Khushi Kumari Gupta’s payal fell on his ears. Next he could hear her bangles as they slid across her lissom arms. She must be waving them about.

No di was not just okay.. She was happy..

And this poolside, where without understanding why, he had feared that he would never see Khushi again, would now always have Khushi around. All of a sudden he was hit by a powerful eagerness for the evening to come.

He was even more eager for the wearer of that payal and those bangles to arrive before him. Khushi.. He indulged in saying the name out loud.. A disarming boyish grin appeared on his face, that would have made any heart that saw it surely melt.
****

"humaar saaladwa koi isstealing karat rahe sasuma" , Manorma Raizada wailed.

(someone stole my salad)

Her mother-in-law could only roll her eyes and hope that Payal bitiya would someday complain about stolen salads to Manorama so that she got a taste of her own medicine.

“Aap kahe drama karat hai Manorama. There is so many things to eat that the caterers have sent for lunch. Ee sab mein se kuch kahe nahi kha let hai?”

(why are you putting on this drama? why don’t you eat something from all this spread?)

“no noj saasuma. Shaam ko toh phull on eating karike pari. Toh abhi dieting eej impartant", Manorma patted her bun complacently.

(no no.. in the evening we will bring on the eating. So for now dieting is important)

Madhumatiji sat down on the dining table with the other ladies and peered into each dish with scary concentration.

“kya hua Madhumatiji?" , The head of the Raizada family asked politely.

(what happened?)

“hai re nand kisssoore. humaar gulab jamun aur kachoriyan naahi milat hai. I kept it on the table there“, she waved around her hand in a sweeping movement. The ‘there‘ could basically have meant any part of Shantivan if one went as per the movement of her hand.

(I can fin’t my gulab jamun and kachori)

“hello hi bye bye..“, Manorama was about to break into a dramatic soliloquy when one of the culprits ambled upto the table.

“nani gulab jamun and kachori toh swadisht hai. Main ek poora plate kha liya“, NK announced. He sat down rubbing his tummy contently. Smug that he managed a correct hindi word for once.

(its tasty. I ate a whole plateful)

“hai re nand kissore.. Natkhat nand kisore ki tarah tum bhi churakar khayat rahe maakhan“, buaji was looking loopily at the speechless boy.

(Like naughty nand kisore you are stealing and eating butter)

“err”, he was planning to make a run for it, but was stopped by mami’s reproaches.

“NK babua humaar saladwa kahe issteal karat rahe?”

(why did you steal my salad?)

“Salad? Jab gulab jamun hai and kachori main ghaas phoos kyu eat karunga mami. Something is fishy“, NK scratched his head looking all around as if crunchy leaves would appear out of thin air and mami’s salad would be found.

“machli? Naahi naahi.. Pure vegetarian salad rahat.. Only pattaj.. Green green“. mami had moved her hands in the motion of swimming fish. Then hurried to reassure everyone, worried that sasuma might think she had brought in fish into the house. NK babua sometimes was quite crazy she decided. He knew she was a vegetarian.

(fish.. no no.. it was a pure vegetarian salad. only leaves)

Anjali walked in leading a happy lakshmiji. “humaara sara kamra Lakshmiji ne ganda kar diya. Who gave her a salad to eat?”

(Lakshmiji dirtied my entire room.)

While nani was happy to see Anjali appear normal after long, Lakshmiji oblivious of her crime continued to munch on the remaining leaves in her mouth.

“Maeee“, maybe she was appreciating the wedding food too.

****

“Arnavji di suggested I bring you lunch. Om Prakashji is busy. Humne mamaji se suna Om Prakashji aur Mohanji mein jhagra ho gaya hai.. Amanji bhi hai waha. He is trying to sort it out.”

(I heard from mamaji Om Prakashji and Mahoanji had a fight. Amanji is also there)

The girl is bright green and sunny yellow sat down in front of him. Then with care she broke a tiny piece of poori and held it up for him.

He took the morsel into his mouth and munched.

“Aap thik hai na Arnavji?“, a pair of large beautiful questioning eyes stared anxiously at him, as another bite was held up. She was worried for him. She wasn’t sure what all Shyamji had said, but Arnavji and di had looked pale when she had burst into the house.

(are you all right?)

“I am ravenous“, he replied. The words had brought on an army of butterflies in her stomach. Those prehistoric giant butterflies the size of dinosaurs most probably. And the flapping of their wings clearly led to an undeniable acidity.. dhak dhak dhak dhak..

When he nipped at the fingers that held the food, she was sure it was to tell her how alright he was. She yelped and withdrew her hand. Her nose seemed to radiate heat and her tongue was tied in knots.

Her stomach decided to rumble and her mouth opened wide in embarrassment.

He laughed. As if there was no care in the world. A handsome young man enjoying himself on his wedding day. Had she called him handsome..hey devi maiyya.. Now her cheeks were aflame.

“tumne kuch khaya?“, his voice dipped low and held an intimate caress.

For once, she almost missed the words, as she concentrated on the plate in front. “Aise toh humne kha liya tha, par ek aur poorie toh kha hi lena chahiye.” She made a roll of the poori and stuffed it into her mouth. Food might help with the strange feeling in her stomach.

(I did eat, but I think I should eat atleast one more poori)

He was still grinning, his face looked uncommonly boisterous. Days ago when she had seen him laugh for the first time she had thought he did not look like a laad governor while smiling.. devi maiyya I was right.. when he laughs..

In reflex her hand went to slap her forehead.

“What the“, two bedazzled brown eyes followed her movement.

devi maiiya.. jab wo haste hai tab wo laad governor nai lagte.. But when does he laugh.. I could count those times on my fingers.. Aur humare toh aapki tarah das hath bhi nai hai devi maiyya.. I don’t have ten hands like you.. only two.. Bas 2 hath ke fingers mein sara counting ho jayega..

“Khushi.. One of these days you have to tell me what do you keep mumbling“.. He took a more reasonable size bit of the poori as he watched her.

She got up in agitation.

“We fought arnavji. Today of all the days.. And I like jilebis and aapko meetha mana hai.. Humare hero hai Barun Sobti aur aapke liye toh sirf wo hollywood movie.. I have only read chacha chowdary with excitement and you read those boring hard covered books jinki likhai dekh kar hi humein neend aa jayegi.. Arnavji humein teekha pasand hai aur aapki toh zindagi feeki hai..”

(you are not allowed sweet. My hero is Barun Sobti and all you like are Hollywood movies… looking at the print in your books I fall asleep.. I like hot and spicy, and your whole life is bland..)

She didn’t want him to become serious.. but devi maiyya.. She turned to face him..

“Aapko toh sukoon pasand hai aur mujhe shor gul na ho toh neend nai aati..”

(you like peace and I can’t even fall asleep if there is no noise)

For a moment her breath left her as she looked at her Arnavji and their eyes met. He had that casual assured air around him, a slight pout on his lips. He looked inviting and dangerous. He looked like her Arnavji.

“hey devi maiiya ye toh humne socha hi nahi.. Humein teekha pasand hai that is why..”

(I didn’t think of this.. I like hot and spicy that is why..)

“that is why .. what?“, his gaze smouldered as he took a step towards her.

She shuffled her feet backwards. He moved closer. A familiar exhilarating dance that they had performed numerous times in the past. She knew she was about to hit the wall behind her when a firm voice inside her urged her to say it. Out loud. Because, she wanted him to know.

“is liye toh I love you Arnavji“, she whispered and flashed her pearly white teeth, happily.

(that is why)

Before he could say anything, she cut in, “par aapko.. Why me Arnavji?“, she was genuinely puzzled now.

(but for you..)

“Didn’t you say I like peace.. Even when you talk non stop and make my life chaotic I find sukoon. You bring me peace Khushi Kumari Gupta“.

The laad governor could say the tenderest of words at times.

His hand had found its way around her back and jerked her sinfully close. His lips hovered right above hers as he spoke. A heady husky timbre that came from a mix of desire and sincerity.

“We can order different dishes to eat, and when I want something sweet I will taste your lips. I will definitely not be watching that idiot Barun Sobti, but you sure will have to watch a few scandalous English movies with me. We’ll fight and make love.. I’ll yell and tease and not pay attention and you can irritate me and defy me and make me laugh.. And through all this I will love you and you will love me.. And we will share our lives hamesha.. How does that sound? hmm..”

The kisses that followed were a seal to the promise. A vow of two lovers.

When they broke apart for some air, with a cool smirk the wicked one proceeded to remind her that their suhaag raat was a few hours away and they might as well behave themselves till then.

Khushi was sure this time the blush that set in was permanent. An avalanche had descended on her ears..

dhak dhak dhak dhak..

****

It was sometime later that Khushi and Payal sat with their babuji. Garima was bustling around the room worried that the girls would be horribly late, but they had wanted to spend some time with their father. Not just Khushi, but even Payal had cajoled her into staying a little longer. How could she possibly say no to them!

She watched them with their father. Garima could not believe he had spoken. As his voice gained strength, it felt like there was no gap of months when she had not heard him. The voice was familiar. The words he uttered were the ones she had imagined these past few months.

He rested on a comfortable arm chair, already wearing the cream kurta that Anjali had bought for him and her mamaji. Raw tasar silk with maroon and gold thread embroidery around the neck and small pearl buttons. He looked distinguished in it.

Garima thought about the rani pink silk she was going to wear. She had been worried it was too bright for the brides mother, but Anjali had convinced her to wear it. The fall had a mauve tinge and a thick silver border right uptil the aanchal. And on each pleat would show an intricate madhubani motif.

On jeeji’s insistence she had even tried on the saree a few days earlier and liked it, but now she hoped she would look nice next to the man who was perfect.

“Khoosie.. Payaliya.. Now get up and start getting ready“, she had to be firm. Who knew where jeeji was and these two girls showed no signs of moving!

Through the open door Nk and Akash babua came running in. Atleast, they were still not dressed either, she thought with a bit of relief.

“Aunty humein jhootha hide karna hai.. Otherwise marna hai“, NK spoke frantically.

(We want to hide a liar)

“Nk bhai jhootha nahi joota“, her usually calm son-in-law also was apparently excited and breathless.

(Not a liar a shoe)

“Akash tum decide kar lo tum meri Hindi correct karna chahte ho or do you want to hide these shoes?“, an indignant NK demanded.

(you decide if you want to correct my hindi or want to hide these shoes)

While they were busy arguing about where to hide the shoes, with a few helpful hints from Payal and Khushi, Anjali walked in.

Garima was pleased to see the color had returned on her face. Her limp was hardly noticeable and her happiness seemed genuine and complete. She was a strong woman. Garima felt a maternal pride envelop her. A motherless girl, who had already been through too much. Yet she was here. Hopeful and strong.

A comanding voice bellowed from below. “NK Akash where the hell are my shoes? Om Prakash go find them..”

Garima was about to to get worried. Arnav bitwa sounded angry.

The kids in the room however, had all burst out laughing. And though the one downstairs was shouting currently, Garima knew for sure her daughters' were getting married into a house with wonderful people. Khushi’s amma, her jiji, would have been blissful to see such a match.

Her husband had turned to watch her. There eyes met and a feeling of contentment was shared without words.

Only a few more hours and her bitiyas would be married..


****

arshi SS: Hamesha ~ a heartbeat away, chapter 20

Chapter 20

At the exact instant that Arnav Singh Raizada read Shyam's message on Khushi Kumari Gupta's phone and felt the earth slide from under his feet, Khushi was reading her name on a wedding card with a tremulous smile.

"ee dekho manno hum shadi ka carad ooha dur vides se banwai laye hai". 

(see here manno I have got the wedding card made from far off states)

An astute benevolent man was near his displeased, bearing the weight of heavy gold, heavy wife. She had reason to be angry of course. Her husband, Akash's one and only father, had reached just the day before his wedding. A slight concession could be extended given that he hadn't missed the event entirely, but Manorma wasn't in a very forgiving mood right now. The man who bore all her moods was here. She felt rather light and care free which of course meant she was enjoying all the attention.

Khushi watched mamaji and mamiji in wonder as she carefully placed silver coins in dainty translucent netted pouches. One coin for each of the guests. 

How many years had they been together? The loud domineering flashy mamiji and the calm simple mamaji. Di has said their marriage had been a full on filmy style love saga. She would ask Arnavji for details some day.

Arnavji.. Her hands had started to fumble..  as his name entered her thoughts, she realized it hadn't really left her mind even for a second.. She had to bite her lips not to smile.. He.. She exhaled.

Nanheji had come up and in all excitement upset the stack of coins and now mamiji was happily delegating the work of recounting to her daughter-in-law. 

"Akash bitwa ki saadi toh hum chor bhi dete par Arnav bitwa ki saadi ka mauka milna jara muskil tha. I had to come for that hai na Anjali bitiya?" Mamaji slurped the ginger tea Anjali had brought for him and looked on at her full of affection.

(I might have even missed Akash's wedding, but getting an opportunity to attend Arnav's wedding is much more coveted)

There were jokes and laughter abound. Khushi who had been desperately trying to hide her smile all this while gratefully took this opportunity and let her smile get wider. devi maiyya unhone humse kaha.. aapne suna?

(devi maiyya he said to me.. you heard)

What was happening around her was all a muddled blur. 

Jeejaji had come down all dressed in a royal blue sherwani and a contrasting cream churidar He even had a stole around his neck of wrinkled cream silk just like the heroes in the movies.  Payal had shyly let her eyes flutter towards the handsome groom before getting back to her counting.

He didn't lie. No. He had really said it. wo baat.. 

There was more laughter. Om Prakashji it seemed had been instructed to play some hindi songs,  guests would be upon them. Amma, dressed in a beautiful peach colored silk saree with golden zari leaves was coming down the stairs with naniji. Even naniji has put on some extra pearls tonight. She looked the regal matriarch that she was.

Khushi was right in the midst of all this, smiling to herself, eyes lowered, intent on preparing the gifts for all the people coming.  Her age old neighbors from Lukhnow would be here. They were all staying with other families in Lakshminagar.  Taiji had called buaji and let her know she would ensure everyone reached Shantivan on time. No one had ever witnessed a wedding into sucha  grand house in lakshminagar. The whole neighborhood was celebrating their daughters' marriage. 

When Khushi would look up her eyes sparkled with a brilliance unmatched. The crimson of her attire brought out her unnatural ethereal fairness. She looked young and innocent and utterly in love. She was the girl who had heard the man she was about to marry, the man she undeniably loved with all her heart, say he loved her. And she was the girl trying to keep the heady excitement a secret.

dhak dhak dhak.. A tell tale gust of wind beckoned her.. She looked up and saw him. He was still not dressed.. hoonh.. Would he miss his own engagement? He briskly walked ahead and out of sight. Was he going to the roof top?

Khushi felt her cheeks flush. Her insides where topsy turvey, his words kept repeating in her ears. Also how his hand felt when he pulled her close to dance, how his lips felt when he kissed her, how his breath felt against her, how his voice dipped low when he worried for her...

"khushiji khushiji  are you sure we should be giving ten silver coins to just one guest? Koi ghaas mehmaan aane wala hai kya"?

(Is it a special guest?)

"haw".. Khushi looked at all the coins that she had stuffed into one pouch. She hastily emptied it, not bothering to correct nanheji that it was khaas he must mean and not ghaas which just mean grass. Which reminded her.. where was lakshimji?

"bhabhi aap bari khoyi  khori lag rahi hai. Don't worry chote will be here soon".  Anajli was balancing two round silver trays in her hands, but that did not stop her from joining the fun.  

(you seem to be day dreaming)

She would soon have to go find Shyamji and verify that he was dressed and then she would hunt down chote and make sure he was dressed. All that could wait a while longer, for now there were two brides to be teased and lots of gifts to be arranged. She and nani had meticulously planned what each person at the party tonight would get. 

"hum.. I forgot something upstairs.. I will be back",  Khushi mumbled and rushed up the stairs.  She might just make a detour to the rooftop. Her heart raced at what he would say, for even a single second she did not want to stay away.

The wedding preparations continued unabated in the living room.


****


Shyam  stood rigidly straight, his stocky arms folded across his chest. There was no time left. If a wedding was supposed to happen tomorrow, it would not have Arnav Singh Raizada as the groom.  It was all crystal clear in Shyam's mind. If he killed Anjali the wedding would surely get postponed, and then eventually he would kill ASR too.

However there was the complication of money. Aman was too sharp for his liking. He had called on Anjali's phone  and verified every single transaction from Anjali's account in the past few days.  Then the account had been closed making matters even worse. A few days of no money from Anjali had made Shyam certain of one thing. He needed to confirm he got all the immense Raizada wealth before the siblings died. 

His silly idealistic teacher in the orphanage Shyam grew up in had always stressed on morals. For many years Shyam had believed him. He had spent time reading the scriptures, been polite and a decent boy. Till he realised that was not enough. He wanted it all. He wanted Anjali and her money.  And now he wanted Khushi. She would be his. And what fun is getting the girl without the money! Shyam would have it all.

Om Prakash had been telling Payalji that he thought he had seen Khushiji's phone left behind in Arnav's room.  He had taken a chance. Desperate times called for desperate measures. 

Arnav had walked right into his downfall. It was time to lay the death blow.



ASR had not waited to think about what he would see on the rooftop. He had simply made his way here.  Shyam stood before him. A part of registered the fact that khushi was not here.


"I read your message to Khushi".

He marvelled at how his voice remained levelled. He had to remain in control. 

Soon Shyam had turned and there was no time to think, only concentrate on breathing as he let Shyam's words fall on his ears.

 "arre saale saab. You read the message? Reading others private message is not nice, you know? Chaliye now that you read it you know that Khushiji and I planned this all along. Do you think a girl like her could have any sort of tenderness towards a man like you? Dekhiye bura mat manana, but you have to admit she is better off with someone like myself".

(look don't feel bad)

ASR's nostrils had flared, sharp jolts of anger slashed against his chest, he clenched his fist with such great force that his immaculately trimmed nails dug into the tender flesh of his palm. A few more minutes and it would bleed. Yet he stayed silent.

"arre Khushiji toh aapko bardasht bhi nai kar sakti pyar karna toh door ki baat hai. Love is what I have for Khushiji. She is my junoon.  She did feel a little bad tricking you Arnav, but for my sake she can go to any length. Just how I can go to any length for her".

(she can't stand you, then loving you is out of question. She is my passion)

ASR found himself lunging out at Shyam, when a broken scared voice spoke from behind him.

"Arnavji"

He didn't turn to look at Khushi. He did not need to. He did not want to hear what she had to say.

"don't you dare say a word", he addressed her with icy cool, his back still towards her. His hand had tightened around Shyam's lukhnowi Chikan kurta.  His deadly gaze remained on Shyam.

"Arnavji please let me speak. I.."

"I told you I don't want to hear what you have to say".  His words cut through the still night air.    

With a shrug he let go of Shyam's collar, then took a measured step back, but Shyam had swiftly moved forward.

"You came Khushiji. No need to hide it anymore.  We have nothing to fear". While speaking Shyam extending out his hand, but a firm unshakable hand caught his mid air.

ASR had shifted his position to block Shyam. He could feel Khushi move closer. Cold and shivering her fingers clutched his shirt from behind. 

There was a untamed wild air in him as he spoke, "Khushi tumhe is aadmi ki wajah se mujhe explanations dene ki koi zarurat nai hai".

(You don't need to give me explanations because of this man)

He heard her exhale.

With a frown he continued,  "I wanted to give it a try. Hear this plan of yours Shyam, but turns out patience is not my strong suite, specially when the women in my life are concerned. Di ko toh mujhe samjhana hoga and Khushi... I warned you to stay away from her.."

(I will have to explain to di)

Before Shyam had a chance to blink ASR had punched him right across the face. Shyam felt his canine cut into the lower lip, he could taste the salt as blood trickled through the tear. He staggered at the impact and out of instinct cowered back.

"Arnavji leave him", Khushi had placed her hand on ASR's shoulder, trying to restrain him. ASR shook her off and took a menacing step towards Shyam.

Through the pain Shyam managed a demented sneer. "So you don't want to believe me? Chaliye rehne dete hai aaj ke liye, but  you can't do a thing to me and you know that. After all I am your only sisters husband.  That handicapped girl whose mother and father committed suicide and left her alone. I gave her support and since you are a good little brother you have to do what she asks. Wo humari puja karti hai. She will not hear one word against me. It is fate that I came to help her and now she will help me get Khushi. All you can do is watch Arnav. you are powerless".

(Lets leave it for today. She worships me)

This time ASR grimaced in pure loathing of the man in front of him, before he slapped him hard across his face.

"That is where you are wrong. I am not good little boy". He gritted his teeth, his jaw hardening.

" I am Arnav Singh Raizada". He stated his name with a sheer staggering power that clung to the words. 

"And I am never powerless". Now his voice had started to rise.  "At the remotest chance that you do manage to get out alive from here di ko apni shakal dikhane ki himmat bhi nai karna".

(don't you dare show your face to di)

Shyam felt like his head had split open when ASR's fist had landed on him in another shattering blow. His voice was a roar as he spoke, Khushi was pleading for him to calm down.

"Arnavji you will end up killing him. please stop".



Everyone burst onto the roof during this juncture of the show down. They were aghast to see the sight. Akash hastily went to stand next to ASR who was breathing rapidly. 

Shyam wiped a trickle of blood from a gash on his forehead as he made his way across the rooftop. He pushed past Anjali who had cried out in alarm.

"Shyamji, what happened to you?",  she frantically tried to hobble after him, but a firm hand stopped her.

"di let him go". ASR's voice was hollow.

"nai nai chote. Ye sab kya ho ra hai? I don't understand. Did you do that to Shyamji? Humare Shyamji.. How could you hurt him?"

(what is happening.. my Shyamji)

"di I can't let you breathe the same air as him. He can't be here. Please trust me. I told you..  he has been cheating on you.. And Khushi. Please meri baat mano di.. wo aapke layak nai hai".  ASR implored, with his voice, his eyes, his entire being straining to have Anjali understand.

(please listen to me..he is not worthy of you)

When Anjali finally spoke after a prolonged silence, she seemed listless. "That is for me to decide Arnav". Her face had lost all emotions and an uncanny blank stare replaced it.

"di everything will be fine di. I'll explain", ASR tried to curb the sheer panic rising within him at Anjali's words. He felt young and helpless. 

Things were spiralling out of control. The piercing sound of a bullet shot rang in his ears.  She had spoken like a stranger and seemed to look right past him.

"babua thik bolat hai Anjali bitiya. Hai re nand kisore we should not have kept quiet all this time".  

(he is saying the right thing)

Astonished faces turned to hear buaji speak up. She walked over and took Deviyani Raizada's  hands into her. 

"hum logan ka maaf kar dijiye nand kisore. For our daughters sake we feared to tell the truth, but this is for the best. Shyam babua has not only betrayed Anjali and you all, but even us. Ooka bas chal jata toh humri dui dui bitiyan ka ghar barbad hui jata. He would have detsroyed Anjali bitiya and khoosi. It is all my fault". 

(forgive us. if he had his way two of our daughter's houses would be detroyed)

Buaji had placed both her hands on her head  and would have continued apologizing, but she noticed Anjali turn around in a trance and make her way to the door. Payal and Akash rushed after her.

"ye aap kya keh rahi hai Madhumatiji? What is this happening in our house?", Deviyani Raizada tried her best to keep her voice from breaking, but she could feel her hands shaking.  

Were they actually insinuating what she seemed to grasp? Had damadji actually planned on cheating on Anjali bitiya? 

In an eerie way the past came rushing to engulf the old lady. She had lost a daughter to the cruel clutches  of adultery.

Mamaji  finally spoke up, "koi thik se kuch batawega ki naahi"?

(will someone explain clearly?)

"Come with me mamaji.. aap sab.. we will explain everything".  Sounding suddenly more mature than usual, NK shepherded the elders downstairs. Akash had already given his a gist of what is brewing and Gupta family seemed to have the rest of the details. That would be enough to answer any questions for now. 

He had looked at ASR's ashen face, and Khushi's  tear striken face and surmised they needed a moment to gather themselves.



****



An hour later a visibly shaken mamiji stood by the main entrance of Shantivan bidding farewell to the early guests.

"hello hi se pehle hi bye bye aaj hui gawa", she said to no one in particular.

(it all ended before it started)

It was a mark of her harried state that a few wayward strands had managed to escape from her bun, dodging the hundred pins that had been jabbed into it. A few petals from the yellow rose on head had also wilted away. Luckily the red roses were still in perfect shape. Her kaajal was smudged and she had no time to fix it.

"bhat issublime tragedy eet eej. Hum toh first se hi bolat the. Gayab rehna phor many many dayj. Hum sab ke eyej mein dhool  jhoka.. par how. Manorama Raizada naahi dekh payi oo toroo colorj".

(what a sublime tragedy. I was saying this from the very beginning. He would disappear for many days. He tricked us all, but how. couldn't see his true colours)

"ka khud mein hi barbar karat ho mano"? Her husband had come pulling a chair on which she promptly sat down.  Luckily Om Prakash showed up with another one for the mamaji of the house to sit on.

(what are you muttering to yourself)


A group of ladies from the girl's side were on their way out. Hari Prakash and mamaji nodded at them while mamiji pretended to ignore them. One middle aged non-descript lady in a jarring orange silk saree was talking in a stage whisper to the equally jarring pink saree woman next to her. 

"This wedding will also get cancelled it seems. Poor Payal bitiya. Just her bad luck. Two weddings cancelled. I am feeling bad for Shashiji and Garimaji".

Mamiji heard the lady that resembled a florescent orange. Broken wedding.. 

It transported her to a wedding fourteen years ago that had not taken place. Her dear niece, Anjali, so very young at that time, had been abandoned by her mother, her cheating father, and the groom who would never have made her a good life partner.

She heaved herself of the flimsy maroon velvet chair that the wedding decorators had sent to Shantivan. Then loudly she called out to all that glaring orange , "hello hi who eej issaying ki Payal bitiya ki shadi cancelling. Manorama Raijada bhill making  issure that wedding bhill happeningj. And you bhill miss all good issnacks and isweet dishej becoj you are uninvited. Bye bye".

(who says the wedding is cancelled. I will make sure the wedding happens and you will miss out on all the good snacks and sweet dishes because youa re uninvited)

Pleased with herself, she went back to ignoring the glances she got from the rest of the ladies who were on their way out. Then, suddenly realizing what an awful evening this was turning out to be for all her children she sniffed sadly.

"waa oo hui na mano jisse hum shadi kiyat rahe". A gentle hand had made its way onto her shoulder. Behind a weary glance her husband was fondly smiling at her. His eyes reflecting the memories of the years they had shared together.

(wow that was the mano I married)

"aap toh bas shutupiya hi kar lo", she  rolled her eyes, but let his hand remain where it was.

(you just shut up)



****



Khushi slowly tried to understand what had taken place. Shyamji had said all those vile things about her, and when she had been convinced Arnavji did not want to even look at her, he had said he believed her. 

She stared at him, a single tear rolling down from her eye. 

di's words had crushed him... but there was something before that, Shyam had let it out casually. devi maiyya itni bari baat.. had Arnavji's amma and babuji really taken their own life?

She neared him. More tears wet her face. It was some time before his eyes moved to her.  He looked broken and exhausted.

"tum thik ho?", he asked in a dull gaunt voice. 

His voice reminded her of their first meeting.  There had been a detachment in tone, as if he was far away, not right in front of her. Even when he was angry his eyes had remained strangely dark. She had forgotten how used to she had gotten of the gradual changes in Arnavji.  This reminder of the reticent man in a shell of the past unnerved her.

She shook her head and ran towards him, flinging her arms around him. 

For an excruciating moment his arms lay limp at his sides. She could hear his heart quicken, but his body remained immovable. 

Then, how pigeons gain flight with a slight flutter of their wings, breaking through the clutches of captivity, her Arnavji  took a deep breath, and broke out of the past, soaring free. His hands encircled her and held on tight. 

The time for words would come, for now two heartbeats did all the talking.

arshi SS: Hamesha ~ a heartbeat away, chapter 19

Chapter 19


Khushi Kumari Gupta stared at her reflection and frowned. She was wearing a pale yellow chiffon saree with embroidered orange roses all along the edges.What was the point of flowers if they couldn't be seen! She had unsuccessfully been trying to pin up her aanchal so that the flowers showed.

With an exasperated sigh she looked at the reflection of Arnav Singh Raizada. He was wearing a navy blue and white horizontal stripped v-neck sweater. Actually, it was not really a sweater... Khushi wasn't sure what to call it because sweaters were supposed to be hand knitted, baggy, but this fit Arnavji perfectly. His lean structure highlighted further by the fabric and Khushi had no idea how that was even possible for a sweater to do.

Arnavji's head was bent towards his laptop. His brow was furrowed, as always, in deep concentration. His eyes had forgotten to blink it seemed. She was tempted to remain standing and go on staring.

Startled out of her staring, she hit herself on her forehead.. "hey devi maiyya I am already late"..

Raising her voice she called out, "Arnavji will you help me with my saree?Hum.."

"shut up Khushi", his eyes had not moved from the screen.

Indignantly Khushi walked upto him. "Arnavji aap..".

She did not continue. Her words did not seem to have broken his concentration at all. Full of ire, she was about to turn away, when a firm brown hand shot out, grasped her wrist and pulled.

She found herself seated on his lap, cocooned in his warmth. A fuzzy feeling had crept inside her. That was before she realized she was staring into the most beautiful pair of brown eyes. Her insides were melting, a light headedness descending.

"Actually I prefer Arnav", he stated, complacent to have her where she was. "tum kuch keh rahi thi? Hmm?".. And his lips moved closer to her..

(you were saying something..)



Khushi woke up with a start, her heart racing. She made sure Payal was sleeping soundly before tip toeing out of the room. In the kitchen she lit a single candle. The light was enough, as she had long ago by hearted the place of each jar that contained the ingredients for her jilebis.

She swirled her hair into a knot, shook her head vigorously to make sure there was no threat of errant strands escaping their confine. With a distracted air she firmly fastened the end of her dupatta along her slim waist.

Then she dumped a heaped cup of flower into a big steel mixing bowl. Even in the dim candle light the steel gleamed. Buaji made sure her age old utensils shone. However, the girl busy preparing the batter for jilebis noticed none of this.

Khushi had come to expect that the laad governor would find a way into her dreams. Only lately instead of only scaring her and infuriating her as he had numerous times before, these days he affected her in all sorts of other ways.

She felt like dancing, and bursting into a song and eating a million jilebis every time he looked at her. His eyes holding a promise of sparkling stars that he would bring for her. His touch ignited every nerve within her, but she never felt as secure as in his arms. devi maiyya humein kya ho raha hai.. kya yehi..


(what is happening to me?.. is this..)

She clenched her eyes tight.. devi maiyya humein Arnavji se pyar ho gaya hai..Her eyes flew open, wide and sparkling as the candle flame reached the iris.

(I have fallen in love with Arnavji)

She used her handed to swirl the batter in a fervid circular motion. She could not be falling in love with that laad governor..

Last time she had thought all this it had ended with his declaration.. koi faraq nai parta.. But even then she had not walked away. She could not. And even then she had felt safe. Heartbroken, but the thought of not seeing him had been more painful. Not talking to him hurt even more.

She knew him now. Understood him. His curt words, angry glares, the boyish look that came upon with when he broke into a smile, she was in love with all of him.

In utter panic she flicked her wrist s the jilebi batter flowed into the hot oil. In two days she was going to marry him. Not because of jiji, not because of a playful plan, not because of di. devi maiyya hum Arnavji ke paas rehna chahte hai.. hamesha..


(I want to stay close to him.. forever)

In a flash her mind remembered the sneering words of a devious man. Shyamji had blocked her way as she had been rushing out of Arnavji's room that morning. She had been blissfully happy and his words had poisoned her mood. She did not want to listen to him, definitely not believe him, but they rang in her ears.

"Saale saab does not love anyone except his family. And he has only one family..rani sahiba.. He may be sorry for you, but that is it. Par hum aapse pyar karte hai Khushiji".

(But I love you)

She had shrieked and warned him, "humse dur rahiye Shyamji".

(Stay away from me)

He had gone on however. "We understand each other Khushiji. Our middlle class simple lives. Wo aap pe bas taras kha rahe hai. Rani sahiba asked him so he agreed to the wedding. He does not love you".

(He is simply sorry for you)
She had wanted to slap him again, but the house was full of people. She had turned her back on him and not thought about his words. But what if it was true? What if Arnavji was doing all this just to be helpful?

"kya hua hai Khushi? tum jilebia jala kyu rahi ho?", Payal was rubbing her sleepy eyes, but looking extremely worried seeing a distraught Khushi and a plate full of burnt to char jilebis.

(what happened? Why are you burning jilebis?)

Khushi looked at the black crispy remains of her favourite food.. Black.. his color..and flung herself onto Payal. "jeeji 2 din mein humari shadi hai.."

(my wedding is in two days)

"Khushi kya baat hai? Tum thik toh ho na?", alarmed, Payal stroked her sisters hair lovingly.

(what is the matter? Are you alright?)
"humein nai pata jeeji.. Kuch garbar hai". Khushi looked forlorn and miserable.

(I don't know.. there is something wrong)

"Khushi tell me what is worrying you? You know you can talk me to me", Payal asked her gently.

"kuch bhi toh nai jiji.. Humari shaadi ho rahi hai.. To that laad governor.. Jilebiya toh jalengi hi na.. See its black.. His color", and Khushi laughed merrily.

(nothing at all.. I am getting married)

Payal knew she would not get anything more out of Khushi, but she hoped Arnavji would take care of whatever it was that was troubling Khushi.

"chalo ab sone chalo".

(come lets us sleep)


****


ASR moved with a brisk pace, a black tie in one hand, the other adjusting the blue tooth to his ears. He continue to rattle of instructions to Aman at a singularly fact pace. He knew at the other end Aman's hands would be flying over his notepad, not missing a single detail.

"aap samajhte kya hai khud ko?"

(what do you think of yourself?)

He whirled around, his eyes resting on her. He didn't think he would ever get used to seeing her right in front of him. A sudden burst of life that shot up his bloodstream every time she came before him.

She looked angry. She was in her regular Khushi clothes today. Green and yellow with lots of dangling bits everywhere. As she continued to fume in anger her small earrings swayed catching his undivided attention.

"Aman I'll call you back". He disconnected the call. "kya hua Khushi?", he asked her in a steady voice.

(what happened?)

"Don't act like you don't know".

What in the hell was she talking about?

"Buaji told me you sent babuji for check up to the hospital. Hum khud kar lenge. I can take care of babuji on my own. Humein aapki madad nai chahiye. You don't need to pity us. Humein aapka ehsan nai chahiye, hum seh nai payenge".

(I can do it myself. I don't need your help. I don't need a favor from you, I won't be able to bear it)

"Khushi wait.. Listen to me dammit", ASR extended his hand out to reach her, but she had turned and stomped off.

Her foot caught at the rug end and she hurtled forward, her phone falling to the floor. He rushed to her, voice urgent and worried, "Khushi dhyan se, lagi tumhe?".

(be careful, did you get hurt?)

"Tum thik ho?", his hand was still on her shoulder.

(are you okay?)

She was staring at him, tears pooling into her limpid eyes. They slowly stood up together, their gaze not leaving the other.

"Khushi main.." , he swallowed.

It was time to tell her how he really felt. Pity? He wanted to laugh at her crazy deduction. What he felt for her was..

She was gone before he could complete his thought, let alone say it out loud. Her tinkering payal was all that could be heard. He made a move to follow her, but dashed into Anjali right outside his door.

"Aapko lagi di?", he held out a hand to support her.

(are you hurt?)

"offo no chote, but tumhe lagegi if you dare step out of the house today. We need to buy a ring for Khushi bhabhi. And since your wife is going to wear it on her finger every day, you should select it for her. Ab chalo. Itna time nahi hai baba. Kal saadi hai", Anjali had oscillated between looking scary and happy during the entire breathless speech.

(you will get hurt.. now come. we don't have time to waste. Tomorrow is your wedding)

His di was so happy planning the two weddings, resolutely ignoring the truth about Shyam. He put his arm around her and hugged her close. He had to keep her safe. And there was one more girl he had to keep absolutely safe. Khushi.


****

"mami ye haar payal bhabhi ke liye hai".. Anjali was desperately trying to get people to start getting dressed for the evening, but mami was causing a problem.

(this necklace is for Payal bhabhi)

"hello hi bye bye.. Anjali bitiya.. ", she might have had much more to say, but everything stopped as Lakshmiji leapt into the center of the living room. A panting, fat and tired buaji closely following. Right behind the two was a thin girl raising her lehenga with both hands to keep up.

"ee dekho nand kishore.. Humaar haar leke bhagi", buaji bellowed in her loud voice, trying to corner Lakshmiji who had a pouch hanging from her mouth. Since no one knew for certain what Lakshimiji really felt one could only make a wild guess that she had confused the green of the pouch with a more leafy sort of green.

(look at this.. she has run off with my necklace)

Round the center table Lakshmiji went, her bells jingling, buaji heaving herself right behind. "buaji.. Lakshmiji..", by now even Khushi was out of breath.

Before anyone knew it Lakshmiji had dropped the pouch onto mamiji's lap and picked up a more promising looking leafy green necklace instead. The leafy green were big sparkling emeralds and of no use whatsoever to Lakshmiji, but it would have been hard to explain that to her.

"maee".. she was about to dash off again, but ran out of luck this time.

Khushi had managed to corner the innocent necklace thief from the opposite side. She carefully extricated the necklace and handed it over to a grudgingly grateful mamiji. "ee miss call ke toh..", mamiji eyed Lakshmiji darkly.

(this missed call)

"hainn? miss call? Kaun ka miss call.. I did not hear anything nand kisore..", buaji turned her head on all sides trying to locate the ringing phone.

(missed call? who missed call?)

"arre buaji missed call humari Lakshmiji ka naam hai", Shyam had walked in, in a cream silk kurta all ready for the evening. Buaji ignored him, but Shyam still flashed his white teeth at everyone.

Khushi was in no mood to spend a second in his presence. He had done enough of damage. She knew she loved Arnavji, and she didn't know why Arnavji was marrying her.

Was she actually calmly thinking about being in love with Arnavji? With both her hands she held both sides of her head. "devi maiyya hum pagal ho re hai".. and stalked away, Lakshmiji following her like a little lamb.

(I am going crazy)

****

ASR had returned from jeweler and was now in his room, loosening his tie. Di had said they were already extremely late and everyone should go get dressed for the ceremony as guests would start arriving soon.

Wondering if he should take a chance at an angry wedding planner di, ASR was contemplating finding Khushi. She was here somewhere. All the Gupta family was here getting ready, but it was not because of this knowledge that he knew she was in Shantivan. He knew she was close because he could feel her.

A sudden burst of loud music caused him to look around at the unexpected interruption to his thoughts. Khushi's phone lay glowing on the floor. He walked over it. She had dropped it when she tripped earlier.

Om Prakash walked in with a cup of coffee. "OP where is Khushi?", ASR had made up his mind he wanted to see her and tell her.


Exactly what.. once he got their he would know.. The thought made his expression a little dreamy, softening the perfect features.

He made his way up the stairs to the roof top. OP was a highly reliable source of information about the whereabouts of everyone it seemed.

Mami had insisted on being in charge of todays decoration and that meant there was more than enough layers of highly fragrant roses everywhere. There were marigolds too and expensive orchids and who knew what else. A mish mash of loud colors. The air felt thick with the scent of flowers as ASR opened the door of the rooftop.

She was there, carefully kneeling and whispering in a goat's ear.

He had not made a sound, but she turned towards him. The smile that was on her lips, as she spoke to her beloved Laksmiji, considerably lessened seeing him.

She was wearing a bridal red lehenga, a vibrant pink dupatta covering her head. Even at her slightest movement the stars of the sky settled into the folds of the fabric and glimmered enticingly at him. She was beautiful.

A half forgotten memory of seeing her with a dupatta on her head wafted towards him. He had been compelled to turn back and look at her that day. Today he took a step forward towards her.

She waited, held captive by him, even though he was across the breath of the roof top.

"ye lo", he extended his arm out.


He was an idiot. He was here to talk about what he was feeling not waste time giving her a damn phone.. but prolonging the moment, watching her, savouring the feeling, held a strange fascination at this instant.

dhak dhak dhak.. was it his heartbeat again?

"I don't want it", she mumbled, her hand crumpling her lehenga. His eyes were arrested by the blush that had come creeping onto her cheeks. It was not the cold that brought the color to her cheeks. He himself was the sole reason for the lovely sight. Feeling quite proud at this accomplishment his lips tilted in a dashing smile.

"This is your phone Khushi", he sauntered close.

"humne kaha na humein aapse kuch nahi chahiye", she said resolute at her stand of not looking towards him.

(I told you I don't want anything from you)

Then with a surprising flash of energy her eyes captured his as she spoke firmly, "I don't want anything from you because all you feel is sorry for me".

His impatience stole over his indulgence, and his eyes glinted dangerously. "tum pagal ho gayi ho".

(You have gone crazy)

"nahin. aap.. aap humse shadi kar re hai because di told you or maybe because you.. I will not marry you just because of some plan.. you feel sorry for me.. Hum aapse shaadi nai kar sakte Arnavji"..

(no.. you.. you are marrying me because di told you.. I cannot marry you)

In an instant he understood what it was that she was hinting at. Did she really think that all these days it was all di or some philanthropic need of his to do good? Maybe she didn't know him at all.

"That's right. I forgot. If you stopped your nonsense for a minute and allowed yourself to open those beautiful eyes of yours even then you would miss the real thing", voice was laced with sarcasm.

His jaw was clenched, stunning angular lines visible on the prominent high cheekbones. He had swiftly caught her slender arms and jerked her close with a feline power.

Deep down she had wanted him to refute her claim that he was doing it for di. She wanted him to look at her tenderly and say he wanted the marriage to happen.

That was in her dream. In reality he was absolutely furious. She fought back even though her heart felt like it was shattering into tiny little shards each piercing some corner of her chest.

"humein kya nai dikh ra batyiye humein?", she demanded angrily. If he wanted to fight that is what she would do.

(what can't I see tell me?)

"that I love you dammit.." The words came hurtling out from within him leaving him dazed. The words remained suspended, sizzling the air between them.

Both were still for who knows how long. Might have been a second, felt like forever. Then he pushed her away, turned and strode off.

He did not look back to witness the slow awestruck smile spreading on her face.



He was not thinking. A rush of adrenaline and love pumping in his veins as he entered his room. Again a happy loud sound jarred its way into his conscious. Her phone was still clutched in his hands. His knuckles were white as his fist had tightened around it.

Another message. He glanced at the phone, mind caught up in the arresting beautiful face of the girl he loved.

It was a fact. He had known all along. He had known as she had struggled in his arms today and on their very first meeting. Had he known as he had lost control and ripped those pearls? Had he known when he had seen her in his office? Even when he had let go of her hand. When she stood before him in red. When he touched her face as she lay unconscious in his arms, fragile. When he had kept her payal. When he had made her wear it. He had known why he wanted to kiss her. He had known why he missed her. Even when he brought tears to her eyes. Specially when she made him angery. Why she made him insanely jealous. Why he felt ridiculously tender and outrageously happy around her. Why he danced with her. Why he wanted to be held by her.
He loved her. The feeling had stolen over him, gradually claiming him. Now consuming him. He loved Khushi. It made him happy.

A calm settled into his heart lighting everything inside him. She made him happy.

It was then his eyes focused on the words on the phone screen. ASR's eyes darkened.. A lethal glint in them..

It was a message from Shyam... on Khushi's phone..

"Plan worked.. Chatt par aake miliye humein khushiji"


******