Thursday, February 19, 2015

Goodbye Twenty Six

It is Aarwen's birthday today. Rather, since its already past midnight, she is already twenty seven. How could I sleep without a blog post?

How does one feel at 27 I wonder? There are days when I feel a hundred and days when I am convinced that I am all of sixteen and this is some muddled surreal dream.

My friends on my online forum (if you have been paying attention you already know of it, for the new entrants it is India Forum where I made friends over a TV show. We call it IPK) posted messages for me. It was strangly overwhelming. Reading their words of encouragement and compliments I almost want to be worthy of those things that they said of me.

I also watched a movie with lazywiz. Imitation Games. Alan Turing who solved the Enigma and won a war. It was for real.

I can't even begin to comprehend how wires and silicon chips form series of what we expertly call binary data. How this binary data displays into legible text and colorful images on our screens, how this binary data streams into music on our headphones, how these series of zeroes and ones transmit over wires, across oceans and get converted to an intelligent interpretation. And how it is the same chip that make the infinite decisions on what should be sent, what should be received, what to decode and what has already been encoded.

I am a software engineer. I have learnt Physics and all about computers and there I sat in the hall as much, or most probably even more, in awe of the invention than the people next to us.

Inventions. The wheel, steam engine, electricity, penicillin, computers. What our children will take for granted just got introduced when I was young. I have lived half my life without internet or a cell phone. 

I have been blessed to not face a war. Not have to know how to go hungry, not watch my country devastate, not see people I love annihilate. I get to be atleast in theory equal to the men around me. 

There is a couplet that I abide by, that I want to remind myself.

"Sai itna dijiye jame kutumb samaay
Main bhi bhuka na rahu saadhu na bhuka jaye"

A rough translation would be.. god give me so much that it is enough for me  and my family, that neither I go hungry nor any good person in need goes away hungry from me.

Think of it that way and how blessed am I! I get to feel inspired to write watching and reading anything and everything. I feel inspired to be exceptional in the work I do. With the person I live I get inspired. I feel loved by him. I love him. I get to enjoy the air, the wind, the rain, the sun, the stars, the grass, the trees, the flowers. I enjoy the words, the silences.

Touch wood.

I will sleep tonight with a grateful heart. Thank you god.

Out of the blue this song played day before and I fell in love with it. yes its time to open the cage and fly. There is so much I want to do, so much I want to be, and the best thing in the world is I have opportunity. It won't always be simple, but it is what I want to do. It isn't something big, but it is still worth doing because I desire it. So, I should do it. 

And if you are about to go too after your dreams, in the process let us pledge to remember to keep it simple, have fun and be ourselves.

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