Blast From The Past Thread

It is cloudy.. a weather Aarwen loves (and not just because vampires come out to play in cloudy weather) and LazyWiz hates..  and it is quiet.. if one thing I could predict out of this week I would have predicted with certainty the exact antonym of 'quiet'. So I sit with my laptop, as I most often do. Furtively look at the clock and decide I have a few more minutes before I need to go cook. Hit refresh a couple of times in case I missed the email message containing the update notification. And check updates from a certain forum. 

A favourite place. Where it all began.. I look at everyone on this thread and am amazed at all the creativity.

I have not met any one of them in person. Don't know where they are from. Don't know their full names. Don't know their occupation. With most haven't talked about anything other than what in some way is connected to this show that we love. 

It has been only half a year and a total of 550 posts on this thread. And yet if someone asked me to name my friends there would be 1 best friend, 2 school friends, 5 college friends and a whole lot of women from the BFTP threads.

How talkative I can get with them. How inspired by them. How bored when there are no updates from them. How dejected when someone didn't comment when I expected them to. How dreamy when someone posts a picture or a string of heavenly words. On Saturday's and Sunday's Aarwen literally scares LazyWiz (and perhaps the only time when she does) and refuses to go out anywhere or entertain anyone just so she can read FanFiction written by her forum friends. 

wo kehte hai wo koi nai teri
phir kyu mujh jaisi wo lagti hai?
wo kehte hai main us jaisa nai
phir kyu mujh jaisi wo lagti hai?

- From Vee Zaara. Have I ever mentioned Shahrukh khan is my favourite actor?

I don't know them?....
        Well I know what I like..

Here is the mega index of everything of Blast From the Past. The reviews,  poems,  VMs,  conversations, swooning,  all here ~
Blast From The Past Thread Mega Index on India-Forum

And a list of my review (yes reviews that I wrote, still can't believe it!) ~

Aarwen's Reviews

A walk in the moonlight

After months of daydreaming, longing about it, tonight I finally took a walk in front of my house..

Photo and title credit..my sister in law..

After 15 years of remembering, recollecting, today 26 year old me sat on the front steps of my house and blew bubbles in the air again. 

  

After a year of smiley less whatsapp right now I have smileys on my phone :-) .

I questioned 'how' and I questioned 'why'.. The answer that I got..

Because ever since your goal found out that you were traveling towards it, it has been running to meet you.

- Paulo Coelho

I do need to read his other books apart from Alchemist

Change

My best friend, since as far back as I can remember, was my cousin really. Our grandparents were own siblings. I went to her house almost every alternate weekend or she came to mine. Hours spent playing house.. ghar ghar.. like we called it. Every Wednesday watch Hip Hip Hurray. The time of no mobile phones so we would hold on to the landline. If there was a powercut in one's house the other would relay what's going on. Sometimes as soon as she reached home I would be on the phone because I needed to tell her so much that had happened in the ten minute time span of leaving school and reaching home. She went away when I was in class 7 I think. Time of no emails. I wrote her letters. She came back when I was in class XI. Same school. Same she. Same me. We hardly ever spoke. 3 years later I got a new best friend.

Chronicles of Aarwen and LazyWiz

Eight years ago..
LazyWiz (Earnest looking straight at Aarwen) : You think you won't , but you surely will change..
Aarwen (Equally earnest. Forgotten to blink, staring right back) : You don't know me. I will not change..


I was the girl who had to be the best at everything I tried. (Except sports.. every year the entire class had to run to get selected for the final race. Every year I fell. Somewhere I gave up knowing running is not for me..and I wanted clean knees without scabs too much to continue trying to run without falling.) Today I want to give up work. Today I want to sit out in my backyard all day. Today I want to write. Maybe still want to be really good at it. But today it doesn't really matter if I ever write anything beyond the serial reviews I so love writing. As long as someone likes reading it. As long as I am happy writing it. I feel happy. 

Five years ago..
LazyWiz (Watching TV) : It's ok. Everyone changes.
Aarwen (Watching him): I have not. I won't.

Change is the only constant I have known..
                 - Quoted from an interview by Barun Sobti
P.S - If you are on this site most probably you know who he is. If not his movie releases on valentine's day next year. Go watch it.

A girl who had never stepped out of the house without her driver, so sheltered she was. Who was actually scared to go buy something from a store because she did not know how to grab the attention of the person standing behind the counter. A woman who managed to flood her living room because the washing machine pipe had not been placed where it should have been and she never thought of checking. A woman who just last week wiped off tomato puree from the kitchen ceiling as the mixie decided to go wild since she was too busy figuring out what the lawyer from the show, Suits, was saying, to pay attention to the grinding. She stood in the same kitchen with grocery she had bought on her own. Cooking food for her husband and his family all by her self. Nothing burnt, there was salt in the food, plates and glasses did not fall and break. In short everything went as she had planned. Oh the sense of accomplishment!

A year ago..
LazyWiz ( Driving. Looking ahead) : I told you. You will change.
Aarwen (Tensed. Looking ahead) : I cannot change.

I thought I am like Khushi Kumari Gupta. Excited, talkative, loving chaos. I wanted an elder sister just so I could be Madhuri from Hum Aapke Hain Kaun. I went to my elder cousin sister's wedding and spent all my time hiding from people. Nice to watch from far, but torture to be part of the crowd. People unnerve me. Quite ASR like, would rather be left with my laptop alone. No small talk. No excitement. Silence. With one special someone want to talk non stop. With one the thoughts I need to voice out loud never end. I was told I would make a great Technical Program Manager (a job title that included meetings). Apparently am a people's person or so everyone in my office thinks. I refused and became a Software Development Engineer ( a job title that hopefully only has coding and no pointless meeting new people and talking). Recluse. Is it possible that the girl who wanted the star role in Hum Aapke Hain Kaun would rather be the lead in Highway instead?

Few days ago..
Aarwen (Wringing hands, worried expression) : I think I have changed..
LazyWiz (Slowly moves a pawn forward on the laptop screen) : umm..hmm..interesting..

Change..I have been worried. But there is a post on Cynthia's blog which says..  I don't change ..  I just become more myself..

New Beginnings and Happy Neverendings

The first day of her engineering college Aarwen was lost and horribly late to class. First year girls had to oil their hair, plait it, pin up the dupatta with pins showing, wear bathroom slippers and mismatched salwar with a loose kamiz. This was called ragging. She reached the lecture hall late so busy was she ensuring she met the dress code standard that had been set. 

The front rows where the girls were sitting were all full so she decided to sit at the very edge of the fifth row next to some unknown boys. The boy next to her smiled. She tentatively smiled back. Introductions were in order. She lived in the hostel, but this was her hometown. Ranchi. Another boy, next to the first, one enthusiastically leant forward. Let's call him Lazywiz. He smiled. And asked Aarwen if she lived next to a movie hall? The professor walked in and class started. 

Lazywiz forgot all about Aarwen. But Aarwen remembered to look for him during the roll call after lunch. He was no longer sitting a seat apart from her. In fact when roll number 136 was called out he was not there. First day and Lazywiz bunked a class. 

He did not remember she existed. For some reason she remembered he wore an orange and green checked shirt that first day. He claimed to hate girls, specially ones like Aarwen. She remembered their conversation and felt she had made a friend. He would walk along the corridor looking formidable and lost, deep in concetration. She would never forget to smile at him even though he would resolutely ignore her. 

For two years they hardly ever spoke, but once they finally started to talk they hardly ever stopped. That was their beginning..

My roommate like most people was a fan of Friends. Still is. She made her way through all the seasons, while I would sit on my side of the room on my bed facing her and listen. So if you describe a scene I most probably won't know it, but if you quote a dialogue I would have probably heard it. After nine seasons of rolling with laughter, holding on to our sides  when it was time for the final season right from the first episode all we thought, or atleast I thought, was now it ends. And though it may have been a good season I still think it was the saddest. That is an ending..

I once read somewhere that the world is divided into two sets of people. One who love Harry Potter. And the others who want to read/watch Harry Potter.

**Harry Potter spoilers ahead** 
***Or atleast what some might call spoilers***

The thing that fascinates me about Harry Potter is how neatly everything ties up. It is a wizard world full of colorful details. But that's not necessarily why I find it special. I think J.K. Rowling stated that she had the last chapter written and locked away in a safe right from book 1. No wonder a goblin, a wand maker introduced in the first 100 pages of the first book were vital to the plot in the final book 7. No wonder the first and only wizard duelling spell a young boy of 12 years learnt was enough to defeat the greatest dark wizard of all times. And the reader comes to know of this only 8 or maybe 9 actual real life years later. 

Alan Rickman who plays the character of Professor Snape in the movies was told at the onset what would be revealed to the viewers a decade later. A whole generation would grow up and cross their teens while this story was getting written. As his final farewell he wrote a lovely heartfelt goodbye..
http://www.zap2it.com/blogs/harry_potters_alan_rickman_writes_jk_rowling_a_touching_thank_you-2011-05

It is an ancient need to be told stories. But the story needs a great storyteller.
               Alan Rickan's Farewell Letter

Often we can control the start. Sometimes we know the end. Usually we just don't know which stage we are in..

The one thing I am learning in life, is whether you are still at the start.. enthusiastic, excited.. or it feels like the fag end and you stand exhausted, tired.. living is all about the journey. Love the journey and you will always be in a place you enjoy and yet you will not be afraid to leave it behind to try out the next thing that you get to soon enjoy..

What makes you happy?

Here's to that moment when you realize you have grown competent enough or plain lucky that your day has a few extra unexpected free minutes!

http://100happydays.com/
My sister in law suggested this.. She and I are going to post a picture of something that makes us happy everyday for 100 days. Hash tag #100happydays.

Wake up Sid.. A wonderful movie about the happiness you experience when you work hard at what you love and get to share your life with the one you love.. It's not only waking up, but as Swami Vivekanand might say..It is an awakening..

**Movie spoilers ahead**

The two met on her first evening in Mumbai. He mentioned the Mumbai rain is his favourite and there is a special spot to view it.. They became flatmates, office colleagues, friends, had a fight and then the monsoon burst..

He was awful at studies.. had no vision or direction in life. Left his doting mother, loving but strict father and his home. All to find out photography was his true calling.. His first pay check he received the previous day and today the magazine he works for has a picture taken by him.. a whole page to what he wished to capture.. his moment of eternity..

She wanted to be a writer.. The voice over reads out her first article in the very same magazine.. She tore away her article the night before the submission deadline and started writing again.. What could she write about a city so much had already been written about.. What made it different? Her new found independence? Her exciting new job? The answer right in front of her nose.. someone she met her first day in this new city.. roommate, companion, friend.. who made her days brighter.. and those dark moments less lonelier.. In the rush of life we forget what is that special feeling that makes us and our life's more special.. take out time and find out what makes you happy..

And yes he did reach her as the very first monsoon rain showered pearls of happiness in each droplet that drenched the city..


I so want to be in this video..

Enid Blyton

Before the frenzy of activity this week promises I wanted to quickly steal out some time for this indulgence..

Since a small kid I scribbled in long misplaced notebooks what I liked to importantly call.. book reviews.. 7-8 year old me had a vague idea that I would pass it on to my daughter with all the reading I wanted to recommend.. No idea what I would pass on if I had a son .. silly me!

I grew up.. want to still pass on the wealth of treasure that reading holds, but have realized to each his own. An interesting article on Yahoo, I think it was, that said the best way to get kids interested in reading is to just read around them. Leave books lying around. Colorful pictures on the covers. Talk of books. Tell stories. In short son't scare them, don't force them and definitely don't compel them to like reading. The day you do that you ensure the reader inside the little one just died.

I remember my father reading a book at night.. on its covers were a palette and colors.. a funny name it had.. "Five Little Pigs".. It is an Agatha Christie murder mystery.. I was so proud and happy the day I read that book. Jamaica Inn by Daphne Du Marier, Wuthering Height by Emily Bronte, not Charlotte Bronte as I often confuse, Little Women by Louisa May Alcott, Richard Bach's Jonathan Livingston Seagull all flashes of books that my mother read and passed on to me.

So when I thought what book to start my review on my very own blog I contemplated Harry Potter. It did make me very very happy for almost 10 years of my life. Something more everlasting.. To Kill A Mocking Bird by Harper Lee. Or I was tempted to be all grown and write about Fountainhead , Ayn Rand's legacy to us.

Then I thought what started all this? Enid Blyton. I didn't know for a long long time that she was a she and not a he, as the name felt like to me. I don't know if the books I mention here are even in print anymore. Well, what the (hehehe..), here goes..

The Famous Five.. And the newer editions had these beautiful covers. of stormy islands and lush green meadows.. Am testing myself to see if I remember all the names. Julian (spelling sadly maybe incorrect) . His younger brother, Dick . The gentle sister Anne. And their wild friend Georgina. Dare you call her by that name. George is who she was. And would any mystery be solved without a little intervention and magical rescue by Timothy, her dog.

I liked The Secret Seven too. Thinner books and more popular, but there was another series I liked way better. The Five Find Outers. Fatty the head of the detective group did the best disguises ever. He once became a wax statue and only got caught by the smugglers because one of his overenthusiastic friends who followed him into the danger had sneezed. And when lights shown on poor wax statue's face, the statue blinked. And statues don't blink, do they?

There was so much to learn for Pat and Isabel, the twins as they crossed each year in St' Claires. The world of English boarding school is still utterly foreign to me, but I learnt of Lacrosse, French and their artistic temperaments. A little ragging has to taken in right spirits. be gentle, be kind, be brave and above all be honest. Darrel and her best friend Sally Hope went through same growing up in Malory Towers. I had hard bounded set of seven books. One for each year they spent in the school. And I meant to give it to my daughter some day. Hmm wonder where those books went? There was no love story, no boy and yet what a story! Life's simple pleasures in a forbidden secret midnight party with food secretly stolen from the hostel kitchen..

And finally the Faraway Tree Series.. In a forest no one is quite sure where, and if we did know we could all move there. There is a magical trees on whose branches lived difference people. Elves I think and grumpy old gnomes and pixies. Someone called Silky and Moonface, was it? And every week a new land would swing into the topmost branches that disappeared into clouds. A land of fairy tales. The next week a land of Nursery Rhymes. How could your imagination not just spark but reach a full on conflagration when you read something like this.

In today's world when I see kids eating with an ipad in front of them to keep them quiet. Or an iphone thrust in their hands during long drives. I feel sad. I feel worried. I don't know enough to judge if this change is for the good or bad. Just that there is a kingdom of knowledge safely tucked away in simple books for kids. And I hope every kid gets a chance to atleast see if the kingdom is where he is meant to be... 

Happiness is...

I have really not been this happy and at peace in a very very long time.. And the best part is this show made me read works of other writer's ( on a forum of all the places!) and that inspired me to start writing.. I feel like I have new friends..some place to talk non stop about things I like and not fear boring people.. be creative.. get inspired.. learn new things each day.. believe in love.. feel happy.. scare people in my mind with a what the.. gorge on vanilla Haagen Dazs ice cream because that is the new jalebi for me.. leave behind the prim and proper me and add a bit of dammit to each sentence in my head..  humm the rabba ve tune all day long..  endless possibilities all thanks to Iss Pyaar ko Kya Naam Doon..

Arshi OS: One Starry Night

http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=4049714

How exactly had he ended up here? At midnight, in Lakshmi Nagar of all the places. It had all started when Aakash had come back, over enthusiastic, after his chat with her.. Khushi.. 

Now why was she smiling and patting on that ridiculous rickety bench? Should he go sit next to her? His feet seemed to have taken over the decision as she continued talking nineteen to a dozen, even before he sat down next to her. 

Akash had said something about an actor doing it in some movie. Salman Khan.. Of course it had to be her idea that Payal would like Aakash to do something daringly different before the wedding. He hadn't seen his idiot brother this happy since they were kids. Unbelievable.. And with NK sick who better than bhai could Aakash turn to. What was puzzling him at this moment was why exactly had he said yes to Aakash's pea brained scheme? If he was true to himself he knew the answer to this question since many days now. And that is exactly why Aakash is inside with Payal. And I am with her sitting outside. Reflecting..

Look at what all he had done in the past few weeks.. Helped in a mad cap suicide scheme to get Payal to confess, been tutored by this girl in what was it.. Kuch kuch hota hai? And also been tempted to .. No, tempted was  too strong a word.. Been lightly swayed to dance in the sangeet with her just so that NK didn't end up completely bruising those beautiful white feet..

Yes, well, no point denying he thought her feet were beautiful when he had held that dainty white ankle on his knee. And the way she had delicately lifted her red saree. The girl who bumped into stuff, caused certain chaos wherever she went had been so graceful that night. Glittering diyas and she stood glowing in red. Could he ever forget the color? He never knew such a strong visceral reaction would get attached to a mere color, of all the things possible. He needed to find the AR designer who had designed that saree and give him a raise.. 

The way the silver payal had shone once he had placed it on her! Till today sometimes when he could hear her going about in Shantivan he would close his eyes and let his ears feast on their khanak. He would know Khushi was around somewhere in his house doing something ajeeb. Strange that the tinkling sound reminded him of Ma's bangles. But he wasn't really thinking of any of this on Diwali, was he? He had not been thinking at all. Period. He had been in a trance. For a long long while he had not felt this out of control. 

Bas. He should stop. His thoughts were taking a pretty dangerous turn here.

Dammit! He had even become talkative in his mind. Just like her. And he was having a hard time not to break into a .. Akash was already suspicious catching him thrice.. smile.. That’s right. Arnav Singh Raizada smiling. The action felt new to is face. He was quite sure his lips had long forgotten this particular motion. Then again could he have stopped himself when, as she apologized for some craziness she had done that day, she kept smearing some sticky goey stuff over that lovely bewitching face..  Yea..  lovely .. bewitching .. Why did he crave to drink in that sight and not bear to look away anymore? Damn Khushi Kumari Gupta .. what have you done to me?

Khushi.. He distinctly remembered the first time he called her by her first name. How could he forget what seemed etched in his mind. Hadn't he been besides himself with worry? Hours later after having left her unconscious in her house.. Here.. where he sat right this instant. Next to her... He had relived the terror. That something might have happened to her. He might not have reached on time. What if he did not reach on time? 

Her face framed by those untamed strands that flew out in the wind still caught him off guard. And was it the flash of lightening that caused those eyes to sparkle blindingly? No one dared to talk to ASR in that tone but she had. It had been an out of body experience. He couldn't even exactly remember what followed what, but somehow she had fainted and he held her secure in his arms. The intensity of emotion that coursed through him was undeniable. The fiery girl looked so fragile when his coarse brown hands held her light frame. She was delicate. Untouched. He could not tell how many minutes he had stood holding her close. Minutes... Maybe it was hours... Not possible.. it had ended all too fast. Must have been a matter of seconds. 

Why was it essential that he protect her? Why did she feel unreal? Unearthly. Why had her tiny hand held on to his shirt so tightly that he had to fight to loosen her grasp. He hadn't really wanted to. It felt physically painful when he had braved to do it finally. He had never been able to be indifferent to her. When had all this truly started?

"What the?! Khushi.." Now where was this crazy nymph rushing off too? Why can't you just sit right here next to me? And stay still.

Khushi.. Invariably whenever he said the name he experienced a strange thrill surge through his body. Alive. What absolute nonsense was he thinking! The last time he had spoken this much to himself was when he had decided he needed to apologize to her on the day of the .. No. He needn't think of that yet.. If he was having these honest discussions with himself might as well admit there was something about being around her that dimmed the constant ache within him. Of course if he had to be precise, these days even when he was away from her all that he could concentrate upon was her.

This was getting ridiculous. Where had she rushed off to while he sat in his reverie? Was she even planning to come back? He should get up and go find her. She had an uncanny knack of landing in trouble if left to herself.

"Arnavji aapke liye chai! Aur ye dekhiye.. Jilebi.. Aap ye kha sakte hai.. Ise bina cheeni wali cheeni se maine banaya tha aaj din mein.. Umm.. aise hi .. Ghar mein cheeni nai thi na is liye ..aur koi wajah nai thi.. ha bilkul bhi nai toh.."

He was completely distracted by that beaming happy smile as she held out the tea cup like it was some sort of coveted prize. Without sugar? No sugar in her house that is why she made it? He had no idea how she could talk this much. And have that enchanting blush at the same time. She couldn't possibly have known he would be here. That the jilebis were ready from before, then made no sense at all. Those set of startlingly piercing eyes were saying all sorts of things to him. It surely wasn't helping that he kept losing track of what she was actually saying meanwhile. Maybe he should say something to her.. But by now her smile had already faltered and having placed the cup into his hand she had turned that gorgeous head of hers slightly away. One of these days he had to figure out what was it that she kept muttering to herself. Whom did she think she was having these conversations with anyway? Enough Arnav.. why do you even care? Ye larki mujhe paagal kar degi.. Yes this girl will drive me crazy..

He wondered if Ma could see him with Khushi.  He suddenly desperately wished ma could see this girl. Now what? Was she humming to herself? But where was the echoing strand of music floating in from. Surely something soothing uplifting to the tune. And it did feel vaguely familiar. Like he had heard it before but couldn't quite place his finger on it.

Perhaps he should talk to her instead of solving the mystery of some phantom melody. Time to turn and concentrate Mr Raizada… No point in disturbing her when she has her gaze turned upwards and has that smile playing on those lips. A minute more of doing nothing just taking in the sight of her would surely do no more harm than already done right?

Oh waitttt.. Those lips had moved. What had she said? Hell! why did he have to miss it? What if it was important? Only one way to find out.

"Kya kaha tumne khushi?"

"Achcha hua inhe pyar hua Arnavji" 

Good thing that they fell in love.. And she turns back to stare at the open vista of stars spread over us. Her face looks enchantingly serene, eager even. Suddenly he felt compelled to agree with her.

"Definitely achcha hua inhe pyar hua". 

No question about it. There was no place else he would rather be tonight. He breathed in her scent. The freshness of the chilly night. And then settled down content. He was in no hurry to get up. Somehow this is where he was meant to be tonight. And he could stay this way forever. The word had a nice ring to it.. Hameshaa.. 

Poetry

I don't think I have ever liked poetry that much. Never given it too much attention. It was always something that I was skeptical about. Too sweet and flowery and it would become boring. Too intellectual then it just wouldn't make sense. Actually come to think of it there was one English poem that I liked. CBSE syllabus of IX and X don't have anything that I remember except The Highway Man. Reminded me of Daphne Du Maurier novels. Haunting tale with a tragic ending.

And still of a winter’s night, they say, when the wind is in the trees,

When the moon is a ghostly galleon tossed upon cloudy seas, 

When the road is a ribbon of moonlight over the purple moor, 

A highwayman comes riding—

Riding—riding—

A highwayman comes riding, up to the old inn-door.

                                       -Alfred Noyes

There were a number of Hindi poems that I did like. As I was recounting to my husband while we walked from the parking to our office today, I learnt of similes, metaphors and alliteration. Of roopak and anupras alankar. Alankar.. an ornament to decorate rhyming sonnets. And poetry is essentially about rhyme and rhythm at least for me. Raas and bhakti..words that never fail to make me sigh and space out for a bit.

जीवन में एक सितारा था

माना वह बेहद प्यारा था

वह डूब गया तो डूब गया

अंबर के आंगन को देखो

कितने इसके तारे टूटे

कितने इसके प्यारे छूटे

जो छूट गए फ़िर कहाँ मिले

पर बोलो टूटे तारों पर

कब अंबर शोक मनाता है

जो बीत गई सो बात गई

                                                                                    -Harishvansh Rai bachchan


No tough words, but a beautiful profound teaching. And have you ever heard Amitabh Bachchan recite his father's poetry? This poem and Madhushala. Dadaji would hear it on Doordarshan and it plays on repeat in my head even today.

Another favourite has to be Meera Bai. No secret that am enamoured by the concept of Meera. Not a mortal's poetry, but am immortal's bhajan. Why was it worth remembering I have no idea. That I do know the lines verbose is still a pleasant mystery.

बसो मोरे नैनन में नंदलाल 

मोहिनी मुरत सँवारी सूरत 

नैना बने बिसाल 

                          - Meera bai

All this was in classes IX/X . More than a decade ago. And then came into my life poetry. My forum..yes still the same one as my previous post.. and people would post lyrical couplets.. And it was not boring.. au contraire highly interesting. And in true writer fassion one morning I woke up with the short rhyming lines in my head. Soon I was frantically scribbling more lines. Adding in words, striking off other words. Completing thought, writing a story. Only surprise this time the words coming to me were rhyming. Poetry. Lovely word isn't it?

Perhaps my one and only. My inspiration..Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon.. Its long and its mine.. My name under it. Makes me feel like Howard Roark.. The architect..

Our hearts had started beating fast

And instinct would know right from the start

It was not to be a simple love story

This would turn out as something legendary.

Innocent Aphrodite reincarnated in glittering gold, pink, green up on the stage 

He was the wearisome raj kumar in black who opened his eyes in a haze

She fell into those waiting arms, love had its first victory

But we knew things would not be this easy, as soon as he ripped that pearl dori.

Suddenly in his orderly life she injected chaos everywhere

Welcome to hell in exquisite anger when he challenged her to dare

Vision in red trembling she stood, his lungs needed air to breathe

She raved and ranted that night in the guesthouse, "Khushi" her name on his lipswould seethe.

A tentative right step into his house, orange jooce made it's first appearance

The cutest smile possible would soon light up his whole countenance

Reminder of what all he has lost, reckless rage directed at the girl

Compelled to say sorry, he notices her cheeks glazed with liquid pearl.

Something has changed, ethereal rabba ve knows

Fights and breezy hey hey hey come together in a healthy dose.

Sultry temptress encircled by flickering diyas, he went aflame in desire

Disorientated he broke away, soon they would be playing with fire.

Wondrous star gazing together, forming a bond eternal

Time for jealousy, fark parta hai kyunki life without her would be dismal

Divine dance claiming right expressed in teri meri

Swirl of dhak dhaks no longer controlled by just a sweet sanka jilebi

Besotted lover with his flirtatious "hi" and striking looks

The sweetest kiss spreading crimson blush would keep her on tenterhooks

Beautiful in a twinkling bindi, baat karni hai on an unforgettable night

Fate had its say, heartache could not be pushed away try hard as Arnav might.

Into the darkness desolate he drove, outrage against life in his yell

6 month wedding to his unfaithful beloved, the solution as far as he could tell

Shattered dreams, broken promises she knew not why

All this agonizing hate, oh how we would cry!

Enchanting magic, hyperventilating hearts, would get added to holi history

How all this was left behind to move to the next phase still remains a mystery

From Harvard he studied MBA, we get to see an unfamiliar soft side

Leading to the revelation of the betrayal he so badly attempted to hide.

Overnight a girl grew into a woman as she heard her loved one's confession

Staying apart, the longing grew and now there would no longer be any hesitation

Most loving hug bringing two souls in the closest embrace

Fireflies turned up the heat, Reunited they sizzled under devi maiya's grace.

Infinite unwavering belief once he returns will be his redemption

But fighting to keep her for life still needs some attention

Engaging teasing, red nose, no wonder the bride is shy

"I love you dammit" he yelled out, now I can happily die!

                                     - Aarwen

Butterfly Effect

In chaos theory, the butterfly effect is the sensitive dependency on initial conditions in which a small change at one place in a deterministic nonlinear system can result in large differences in a later state. The name of the effect, coined by Edward Lorenz, is derived from the theoretical example of a hurricane's formation being contingent on whether or not a distant butterfly had flapped its wings several weeks earlier. 

- Quoted right out of Wikipedia

No I did not like the movie Butterfly Effect. Am still using this title for my second post. I fear that the beginner's luck has already worn out so don't want to waste too much time between my first post and the next. In Rockstar movie it was stressed that an aching heart is needed for creativity so lets see how that goes.


We shifted to what is a very very beautiful city early last year. Maybe I should start with our visit the year before that which made us realize Seattle was a really beautiful city. Anyway one has to start somewhere so lets consider our move out here. And consider that the very beginning. The lush green tress all around, the cloudy days and possibilities of vampires, the parks with weeds which look suspiciously prettier than flowers, the lakes and hills all make me thank god each day that I get to enjoy this every day. Touch wood. We bought a house. My husband's idea and a most excellent one in hindsight. Just as we shifted into the new house he had to leave for India for 2 weeks. I couldn't stay in that big house alone and so my father came down to stay with me. I haven't ever stayed with him alone.


Also a lull in office and I had all the time in the world. And no Star Plus, Sony, Zee, Colors, MTV in our cable here. So I started watching weird movies on Youtube. Midway watching one I even realized I had seen it almost 10 years back during my engineering entrance exam preparations days. That and the fact that I was running out of movies to watch in Youtube made me switch to TV shows. I saw Love Ne Mila Di Jodi. The show was airing on TV when I had moved to a new city. For the first time staying alone in a PG and was about to get married soon. I vaguely recollect returning to my PG in the afternoon when it would be empty. And watching the show alone while eating my dabba lunch followed by a long relaxing afternoon nap. The title song was nice so I think I thought of watching it when I noticed the episodes on Youtube. Anyway I gave up watching the show midway and skimmed through the later episodes. Once the leads get married does it have to get boring?


Next I saw Miley Jab Hum Tum. No particular reason just that it use to air around the same time I believe. I remembered a quiet pretty brainy girl who I liked. Part of me always aspired to be like that girl. Sadly I can never be as quiet as I would like to be. Have come to realize am nowhere as pretty. And am a little wearisome about the brainy. The show as a whole was too corny. But Gunjan I liked. And that is the time my college friends started a whats app chat group. Everyday non stop conversations and after years I would have my phone near me. I had stopped worrying about my phone the day I married the man I loved. More like the boy I love since I was but a girl. Maybe still am. And I realized he will be here right next to me for everyday of my entire life. Who needs a phone? So in the chat I mentioned my craze for Gunjan and my friend said Sanaya Irani has another quite popular show..


Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon..and the rest as they say is history.. I watched the first episode a bit tentative. The heroine was a little too chirpy and talkative. But nice she was so different from Gunjan. The hero looked disappointing. Am laughing at myself now but I did think that the very first time. But my husband was out and I had so much time. So watched more episodes. Is thank you the only word to express gratitude? Feels grossly inadequate. It was refreshing and fun and mad and sizzling and everything a love story should be really. And like my habit with everything I like I had to google to read what other people were saying. I must have watched more than 200 episodes in a span of 2 weeks. And as fate has it one google search landed me on India Forums. Had to because the intricate details I was searching on, I think, would only show up there or on IPK Facebook pages.


I landed on pages filled with chatter on IPK. Pandora's box full of IPk discussions. Yes that is what was the abbreviation, but what caught my attention was reviews by one whom I now get to call Indi di.. and there was another who had crisp funny reviews and something called a drool corner.. barundeewani.. was a mere coincidence that Kailash kher's song teri deewani is my role model too ? So those write ups were amazing and I stopped reading books since I got something related to IPK and great writing in one place. What more did I need.?


My husband came back and finally got to witness the first hand crazy phase I was going through. That was the start of November last year. When I had bugged him and my whats app group of friends and even slight acquaintances about the show I needed new people to discuss it with. I tried cajoling scaring bribing blackmailing people to watch it, but didn't make too much progress with that. I was still talking, thinking every waking moment of the show and maybe dreaming about it when asleep. Now I had deleted my blog ten years back. Never used my facebook account, when my husband finally suggested I join the site where people write such nice stuff and talk about the show I gave in.


And so January this year I became a member of India Forums and posted on what is called Blast From The Past Threads. Within no time I was getting talkative there. But it was no longer just the show, I was making new friends after a really really long time. Very talented creative people. Completely non artistic me was taking screen shots and learning how to make edits. I had to try writing episode reviews myself. I wanted people to like what I wrote. Comment. Discuss. And all the while it was like I was in a classroom where all my friends are the most inspiring people I have met. Mothers, working women some teachers but all with this sense of fun. insightful thoughts. Warmth. And unending awe inspiring creativity.


Suddenly I started thinking how much I like to write. I need to learn more. There was this unimaginable vista open before me of things I wanted to say. Thoughts I want to share. We went and saw 2 states. A movie based on the book by an author I don't like. But a movie that I surprisingly liked a lot. My husband gifted me a type writer. And as I heard the tapping of the keys I had found some more meaning to the state of bliss I have been in these days. Well everyone keeps telling me to write not about an Indian TV show which has long ended, but something more sensible. But I was blank. No motivation.


A few shared posts from my friends on the forum and I got a glimpse into a world of writing apart from IPK. A blog. and so after five months of writing about the TV show which has made me so extremely happy I created ,my blog. And am now just wrapping up my second post on it. Can we really pin point what changes our course in life? As someone pointed out this phase of my like is called blossoming. A butterfly breaking out of her cocoon and spreading her wings to fly.. And in this ending line was the reason for choosing the beginning title of my post. Complicated intertwined but brings a smile? Well such is life..

Who am I?

My very first post.. I wanted to make it special.. So I thought of writing about people.. well there is only one important enough to earn a place here.. my best friend.. that feels inadequate.. my most bestest friend.. that's more like it!

People don't interest me too much so I left that path and turned my attention towards what defines me..I pondered on this question.. and as simply as that reached an answer for what my first post should be about.. never a question really.. it has always been the same answer from as far back as my conscious thought remembers..

Books.. words written on a paper or in modern times words appearing on a laptop screen..words that tell a story.. words that express a thought.. words that define a feeling.. words that inspire.. words that make me happy..

So my very first post is dedicated to me really.. to what makes me who I am.. my very best friend and my books..