Friday, June 13, 2014

Dad's are the hardest people to buy gifts for

For the first time while writing a post am still wondering if I will have enough to write. So why am I writing? While my husband and I drove to our office today morning we heard this on the radio. I smiled with my teeth showing and wriggled on my seat trying out a dance step to match the song the whole drive to office.

I never knew you could hear the radio programs on the internet later on as well. Its like three pens in one (To understand the reference you would need to watch a very cute movie IQ starring Meg Ryan, Tim Robbins and an extremely lovable Albert Einstein) . What a magical world we live in these days.

Apparently Sunday is Father's Day. I tried to remember, but I don't think I have ever wished my father on this day. I usually end up wishing him a day late on his birthday too. He isn't the kind to mind it or even expect it. Perhaps that is why even I don't mind if people don't wish me. In any case it gives me an excuse to conveniently forget other people's birthday's as well. Will I call him this year? Most probably not, but does that keep me from writing about him? Absolutely not. 

Happy father's day dada ..

I have heard stories of how when I was a baby he would put pillows on all sides and completely smother me in the pretext of tucking me in. When I was a kid he would start to tell me funny stories at bedtime.. I still remember the heroes.. harbargam, garbargam and milkha singh. The stories were fun till he managed to bring himself in. He would always be almost a super hero. I would not be impressed though the stories would have me laughing anyway. Worse were his college day stories.

He hates travelling. Loves his mother's, my dadiji's, cooking. But for many years he stayed alone, since he worked in baroda then China while we lived in Ranchi. It was by choice. I wonder if he got bored with no one to talk to in a flat all by himself. I wonder if he got tired of cooking himself and ordered from outside. Till one day he got tired of that too and would go to sleep hungry. Some time during the Kyunki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi TV serial era he decided he liked all Star Plus serials. How I would try and get the remote when mamma and me visited Baroda during our holidays.

All night and day long he can spend playing online Poker. Wins lots until he looses everything in casinos. Headstrong not wanting to please anyone. Likes gardening. Snores so loudly I wonder how my mother bears it. I kept telling him, but he still hasn't quit smoking. When he comes to my house he gets my husband to share a cigarette with him. Well he always joked that he wanted a son-in-law who would smoke, so that turned out well for both of them.

My favourite memory of him. Something so completely unlike him. After my vidai from my grandparents house in Jamshedpur I stayed for around 24 hrs in my husband's house. The next day with my husband and his uncle's (Yes that same uncle from a few posts before!) family we took the early morning train to Kolkata. It was too early and all this new bahuness (taking the liberty of coining a term) was quite disorienting. I think I stood quietly to the side smiling politely at any comments made to me. Mostly was too dazed to even answer. Later when I spoke to dada on the phone he said he had come alone (my mother didn't know) to the station and stood and silently watched me go. I asked him why didn't he come say bye. He said he just saw me happily starting this new life and did not want to interrupt. I never want to forget that. I never want to forget how I felt when I heard him say that.

He came and stayed with me last November. He was with us for a month in which 2 weeks it was only the two of us together. I spent all my time watching Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon on my ipad. He did most of the cooking and if he found time watched Jodha Akhbar on my husband's ipad.

The one father I really look up to is Atticus Finch from To Kill A Mocking Bird. Respected, wise, insightful, inspiring, calm, mostly always right. I would want to be a parent just like him. 2 sequences that are etched in my memory.

First is when his 7 year old daughter (atleast I think Scout was 7) sat on his lap and asked him, "What is Rape?" . Without skipping a heart beat he replied, "Forced carnal knowledge (or something similar)" . When I read this I had to go check the meaning of Carnal. The bigger thing was he didn't hide anything. Didn't preach. Let her make her own inference. Kids can be very smart if parents just give them a chance to think for themselves.

Second was when a mad dog had to be killed or he would attack. Atticus was a quiet, reserved , slightly boring (or so his 9 yr old son , Jem, thought) lawyer. Apparently he was the best shot in town. His glasses broke and he couldn't see clearly. Yet without blinking an eyelid he stood in the path of the mad dog and shot straight. His son never forgot that. When his son asked him why he never told them about this talent of his, Atticus replied that he didn't really want to have to use it.

I don't want the world's best father, I just want you dada. Maybe I will call you this year. But you do talk for almost an hour when I call you and I hate talking on the phone. Well either way a very happy father's day to you.

No comments :

Post a Comment