Jaahil zamaana dushman mera hai.."
Does everyone spend their life feeling this way? Restrained by what one thought was the expected. Self imposed shackles.
Would I sound egotistical if I said I felt like Dominique of Fountainhead? Does it even matter? And if I care that it sounds this way, am I really like her? It took me a long time to figure her out. Took me longer to understand what Howard Roark wanted her to figure out for herself. Dagny Taggart from Atlas Shrugged is an easier character to relate to. Perhaps even to emulate. Do your work. Excel at it. Be impervious of the world. Know you don't fit in. Know you don't want to fit in. Find people whom you respect. Find places where you belong. If you don't find them, you make them. Your heaven.
In both these female protagonists of Ayn Rand the best part is how untouched they remain from the world. Their rules. Their thoughts. Their battles. Their fight. Their love. their life.
And not just the females but Howard Roark, John Galt, Hank Rearden, Francisco D Anconia. Even a character like Ragnar Danneskjöld. They may be a whole league apart. Their trials and tribulations much more serious, more vital, but who gets to decide what is more serious? Why the norm? Why is my choice less important than theirs? Why is my fight any less?
They force me to live in this world , but what if I don't want to? What if I want to shrug away the burden, shrug away the conventions, shrug away reality. What if I want to make my own reality? What if I don't want to listen , but only question? What if I get bored with the normal. What if I long for the extraordinary?
What if this thought of mine isn't something special at all? Just what everyone else wants too... what everyone else dreams about. Not melodramatic. But what everyone feels. Not separate, but what everyone experiences.
My post has a lot of questions today. What if the questions are the answers and in the statements lie the questions? What if I like talking this way? Thinking such things.. Does this post make me a pseudo intellectual? Does that bother me?
Who says you can't learn from a Disney movie?
As long as you understand or atleast let me be, I don't need anything else..
"Jab yaar kare parwah meri..
mujhe kya parwah is duniya ki..
Jag mujhpe lagaye pabandi..
main hun hi nahi is duniya ki.."
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